Going to Hell
by Ptilopsis
Summary: Stripper/Priest AU - Dean Winchester has been having issues with his girlfriend of 5 years Jo, for a while now. One night things got ugly, Dean left and called up his brother, Sam, who convinced him to see a priest named Father Novak who runs the North Garrison Church in Seattle. Little did Dean know there's more than one Novak in Seattle, and the one he met wasn't even a priest.
1. Along Came A Priest

Castiel Novak loved his car, everything about it made him feel like having an orgasm just thinking about it. His job gave him so much more money than he knew what to do with, so naturally he had to have the car that matched him to a t. And this puppy did. The deep valleys in the hood, narrow body, and large engine reminded him so much of himself he almost want to marry it. The grey 2014 Chevy Corvette Stingray had everything; leather interior, heated seats, a 7 inch GPS panel that had Pandora, Skype, and his iTunes downloaded into it automatically, all the bells and whistles that anyone could have ever wanted. If he could he would marry this car.

And that is the precise reason why he almost murdered a man not 10 minutes ago for crashing into the tail end of the car. Castiel was furious, actually more than furious, he no longer had fury or rage on his mind, he was downright murderous at this point. If it hadn't been for Gabriel Speight, his closest friend being in the car with Castiel as he showed off the new love of his life, this man would have been dead.

It was drizzling lightly over Seattle as usual, Castiel normally didn't mind but today it only fueled his anger as he stared at the pavement under his boots. Gabriel walked over to Castiel who was leaning on the hood of the car stroking it gently, "Cassie, relax. You have the best insurance in the world." Gabriel handed him the man's information. "This man, Gordon Walker," Gabriel looked to the paper quickly and back to Castiel. "He is accepting full blame for the incident. The police just want your side of the accent for records. We'll send this into the body shop, you'll get a new bumper and we'll just take my car into work for a week or so okay?" The smaller man slapped his friends shoulder firmly and smiled. "It's going to be fine." He looked over Castiel shoulder to the church behind them.

"Hey Cassie," Castiel looked over to the brown haired short man not saying a word. "Isn't that your brother's church?" Castiel turned around and looked across the street.

Castiel sighed in utter defeat, "Yes. That's his." Moving off of the car and looking for traffic as he began to cross the street.

"You two are talking again?" Gabriel shouted from the car.

"Yeah, he apologized a few weeks back. He told me his God spoke to him and said it wasn't his place to judge me. I'm going to go say hi, be back in a few minutes Gabe." He shouted from across the street.

"What the hell man!" Gabe said standing open arms a little offended. "You don't tell you best friend anything you know?!"

Castiel grinned widely as he entered the quite church. It was well insulated and warm inside making Castiel shiver as he was welcomed into the large warm church. Father Michael Novak was his older brother and the priest of the North Garrison Church, and by far he was the most accepting priest Castiel had ever met. He accepted Castiel for who he was truly, and thankfully he never had to lie to his brother. Although even as his older brother hated Castiel's job, as long as Castiel gave Michael's church some money here and there Michael usually never talked to him about it.

"Ah! Castiel!" A pleasantly happy voice rang through the church as he began to light a small candle at the entrance before crossing the small arch into the bigger room.

Michael was making his way down the aisle with open arms towards Castiel when he spotted him. "Michael!" He spoke eagerly and almost jumped into his arms from excitement, he hadn't seen his brother since Michael apologized for criticizing his homosexuality a few weeks back. "Hey I missed you." They held each other at arm's length; Castiel looked his brother up and down, and even though Michael was dressed completely in black apart from his white collar he knew something was different. "Did you lose some weight?" He said raising a brow with a knowing grin. "You started my orange diet didn't you?!" He was so excited his brother showed so interest in what said a few weeks back.

"Yeah, it's difficult but that fat around the side of my triceps are gone completely." He smiled wide down to Castiel. And brought him in for another hug, "You know I really am sorry for what I said that day. I take it all back completely."

Castiel pulled back from Michael and smiled running his hand roughly though his brother's dark black hair. "I told you I'm not mad about that anymore."

"I assume you have another reason to come here? The church isn't exactly close to where you live." In fact Michael's church was on the opposite side of town.

"I didn't plan on coming here; I got in an accident outside the church in my brand new car." Castiel pointed to the door.

"You got a new car? Can I see it?!" Castiel knew Michael was itching to see it the moment he said 'new car'.

"Actually I don't have time to show you the whole car but maybe I can come by next week when the car gets fully repaired and show you the whole car?"

Disappointment seeped off of Michael, "Okay. By hey since you're over would you mind confessing any sins?" Michael was never one to push; he would only offer options for you, which in his case made rejecting him more difficult than doing a heart transplant on a butterfly.

"I have work in like 30 minutes," he looked down to his phone and put it back in his pocket. "Would you mind if I came by with Gabe tonight after we're done?" Michael nodded with a smile on his face and told his brother to hurry up and get to work.

Castiel bounced happiness out of the church and down the stairs before looking to his car again with a murderous glare. "Come on Gabe let's go to work!" He forced a smile and got into his car driving away.

"Jo!" Dean Winchester called after his girlfriend with anger laced in his voice as she stomped up the staircase. "Jo! What did I do this time?!" Dean and Jo's relationship had always been forced but somehow 5 years seemed to slip by right before his eyes. Now every week they seemed to fight, if it wasn't about the stress of their relationship it was about the color of the curtains in the living room.

"You know damn well what you did this time!" Jo barked from the top of the staircase at Dean.

"No, I don't. Because every time, every FUCKING TIME, you seem to believe I have telekinesis!"

"I bet if your whore of a mother was alive you would know what you did wrong. And it's telepathy you douche!"

That was the final straw that broke Dean's self-control; if he didn't leave his house would have another broken window and a hole in the wall. "I don't give a flying fuck what it's called." Dean bit back through his teeth leaving the foot of the staircase and heading for the door gathering up his keys and jacket from the hook.

~0~

Jo recognized this habit of his when she would push him a little too far. "Say hi to Sam for me." She called out in her 'HA! I beat you' happy voice.

"Go to hell you fucking BITCH!" He slammed the door behind him. Within moments Dean was flying down the street in his black '67 Chevy Impala, the car his father left him when he and his mother passed away when he passed 18 years ago in a car accident. He had just turned 34 last week but he never felt a day older than 16 when he drove his Baby.

Taking in a deep breath as he unclenching his hands from the steering wheel, Dean slowly approached the stop sign at the end of his road. Taking a quick look in his rearview mirror for any up following cars, Dean placed the car into park and closed his eyes gently fighting to hold back painful tears. Even though his parents died 18 years ago, the wound seemed too fresh when he would step back into his father's car.

He reached into his pocket and dialed Sam, his little brother who honestly should have been the older brother in their relationship. It always seemed like Sam had his shit together when Dean didn't, Sam was a lawyer for one of the bigger firms in Settle, Washington; he was married to his beautiful and faithful wife of 10 years, Jessica; and a year old baby boy, Adam. Sam's life was almost picture perfect, if it weren't for his parent's death. "Dean?" Sam's concerned voice rang through the small speaker; Sam never answered the phone any differently when he called, it was always unease that filled his voice.

"Hey Sammy." Dean tried to pull a fake smile across his face and steady his breathing.

"Dean what's wrong?" Was he really that repetitive with his calls?

"Nothing's wrong Sam." Dean joked trying to keep the fakeness to a minimum.

Sam paused on the phone you could practically hear his bitch face, "Something is always wrong when you call. Is it Jo?"

"Am I really that transparent?"

"Yes. When you call me something is always wrong it has been for 2 years now."

"Me and Jo have been together for 2 years."

"Exactly, now what is it? Did she cheat on you again?"

"No. No. Wait, what? Again.?" Dean jerked up and checked around him again, up to the rearview mirror, no one behind him still.

"No, never mind. What happened?"

Dean leaned against the door and took a ragged breath. "We were having another fight, for the third time this week. We were shouting and then she pushed it a little too far."

The phone was silent, "Did you hit her?"

"No. But I wish I could have. She called our mother a whore. I couldn't stand to look at her face any longer and I just left. Now we're here." The two sat in silence over the phone.

"Do you need a place to stay?"

"Ya."

"Okay, but first I need you to try something. Just for me."

"Sammy." Dean warned softly, he wasn't in a mood to be shitting around right now.

"Dean, I know you don't like it but I want you to just give it a try. It may help you."

"Sam, I'm not going to go pray for our relationship."

"No, don't pray. I want you to go see a priest I met a few days ago. He's really nice, very accepting of people. He doesn't judge, he says it's not his place to judge only to help. And I believe he can give you some advice. Better advice than I could give you."

Dean bit his finger in anguish as he contemplated his options; sleeping in the car and crying or his dead parents or going to a priest, getting some crap advice, and go to Sam's house and sleeping in an actual bed? Damn it. "Fine. Who is he and where is this church?"

~0~

A/N: This is my first Supernatural fanfiction ever so be gentle with me.


	2. Am I Needy?

A/N: I swear this is a Destiel FanFic.

~0~

"Ladies and gentlemen," The slightly southern voice spoke over the intercom. "I give you Purgatory's finest." The lights exploded lighting up the room in a massive wave of white. "The Angles!"

The crowd cheered loudly as the lights returned to normal and a lone figure was sitting with his back facing the crowd. Everything fell silent then he spoke. "Forgive me Father for I have sinned." The black man spoke in almost a choked voice. A few people whistled from the back.

Another man with a wide jaw with stubble on his face, blue eyes, and tan hair sauntered on to the stage dressed as a priest with his head held high. A couple of girls in the corner cheered loudly, the other man not breaking his gaze on the man sitting down. "Well then what was your sin my child?"

"I have lusted," the other man spoke.

"We have all lusted, that is why we are here."

"How do I receive forgiveness?"

The priest bent over and pulled the man up from his chair quickly, "You need to follow my lead." The track kicked on and a spot light hit the blonde man. The crowd lit up and cheered enthusiastically. The slow violins introduced a heavy swinging bass that you could have found in 40's music that the man swung his hips gently to, moving his whole body like a snake as he approached the front of the stage taking off the little white slip of plastic from his collar and tossing it to the crowd. The girls in the front grabbed it and just gawked at the blonde man. As the bass dropped the man dropped to his knees in sync and began to unbutton the shirt biting his lip as he kept eye contact with the girl who caught the white collar. With one swift movement his shirt was off. His tanned skin on display and the crowd went wild.

"You mean like this?" The black man farther on the stage strutted down the stage in rhythm with the music and ripped his shirt off in an animalistic way breathing heavily as a front for the crowd. The mass of people shouted loudly at the unexpected action praising his body. His body was truly something to be praised it was stunning; each ab muscle glistened under the spot lights. "What about this?" His hand went to his pants and began to slowly unbutton them and the mass cat called the whole way.

The two danced for the remainder of the song grinding against the stage slowly while making the best eye sex someone could have ever experienced. Dollars were thrown immediately; twenties, fifties, and the occasional hundred landed on the stage in front of them. As the song came to a quick in end the two grabbed each other passionately and slammed their bodies against each other. "Now my son your soul has been cleansed." The crowd freaked and the room went dark as they promptly left the stage.

"How about those two! Give it up once more for Purgatory's Angels, Lucifer and Raphael!" The announcer called over the intercom, "Now we'll be taking a quick break so you all can get your drinks and we'll be back with the main show of the night. The Little Demon!" A couple girls cheered loudly as the room lit up slightly and people got out of the chairs to get some drinks. A couple of the female strippers sauntered back out on to the stage and began to do what they did best.

Unlike most strip joints Purgatory ran a bit different, and it was successful as hell because of it. The beginning of the night were all the female strippers, they danced in groups of 4 to 5 and as the night wears on more and more men are introduced into the mix. And soon the grand finale of the evening, The Demon, Castiel Novak, Purgatory's pride and joy. Hell, Seattle's pride and joy. People from as far as California drive every week end to see him. Women liked him but his real crowd was the men, Castiel didn't know why, maybe it was his feminine waist or bright blue eyes. All Castiel knew was the best at what he did.

Rushing away from the DJ station as soon as he placed some sexual music, Ash jumped on to the stage and ran back stage before shouting. "Where the hell is Castiel?!"

"I'm here, I'm here." Castiel said rushing from the back doors.

"Where the fuck were you?!" Ash yelled in the green room.

"I was a little busy, it won't happen again. I just need like 15 minutes to calm myself and I'll be ready." Castiel spoke as he began to get undressed in the room.

"You are so fucking needy you know that? And fucking lucky to have the last spots tonight." Ash looked to his watch, "Alright you have 15 minutes to get ready."

"Alright!" He barked back. Ash left in a jog back out into the club. "I fucking hate him." He mumbled under his breath. Castiel loved his work, everything about it made him feel live and in control over everything he just couldn't stand his boss. And when he worked everything on his mind disappeared; his car, his fucked up boss, and his ex's; they all vanished it was just him and his body.

Getting into his outfit Castiel took a deep breath and looked at himself in the mirror. He was going to have to go to the gym tomorrow his stomach was getting a bit un-toned. Moving his hand over his chest and placing a finger on the mole over his right nipple, it had always annoyed him only that mole made him mad looking at it. He heard a couple guys come in to the green room.

"Hey Cassie." Lucifer said with a coy smile as he wrapped his arm around Castiel's neck.

"Hey Luci." He said replying in the same way.

"Why are you so late, you ditched us on a few group routines, especially the one with me and Raphael. You are so lucky we know how to improvise." Lucifer said digging his knuckle into Castiel scalp.

"Get off," He pushed Lucifer away and tried to fix his hair, even though it seemed to be a losing game.

"Stay sexy Cassie!" Lucifer trotted off. Castiel looked at himself once more in the mirror when he heard Ash's voice over the intercom.

"If you'd take your seats please," The crowd cheered once more and Castiel could feel the anticipation in the air as the cheering grew louder. "Ladies and Gentlemen! Purgatory's Little Devil!"

"Showtime." Castiel spoke to himself in the mirror and the music stared.

~0~

After the final two shows of the night Castiel and Gabriel were in the green room laughing and cutting up a storm, making fun of Meg and her ridiculous dye job she got this morning. "Oh you should go see my stylist he's the best, he practically made me a new woman a few years ago." Ruby said taking out her purse and handing Meg a business card, "I'm sure he can do something for your head." They continued laughing eventually Meg joined in in laughing.

Soon it was well after midnight as the group broke apart to go home to their families and partners. Which just left Castiel and Gabriel lying on the couch, nobody in Purgatory had physical boundaries any more. They saw each other naked or at least what should have passed for naked nearly every day. So two men stretched out on the couch legs entwined after showers was nothing, basically almost a handshake in their world. Castiel ran his hand through is short wet hair as he looked around the room, "Hey Gabe?"

"Yeah Cassie?" Gabriel said with closed eyes leaning back in piece enjoying his friend's company.

"Do you think I'm needy?"

"Whoa! Where did that come from?" Gabriel said looking over to Castiel.

"Ash called me needy today; I honestly couldn't give a rat's ass what that assbutt thinks of me. But I was just wondering if you thought I was needy."

"Assbutt?" Gabriel mumbled to himself. "Well…no."

Castiel looked up to him, "Come on. Not even a little bit?"

"No. You are the strongest most independent person I know. Even to the point where you may be a slight narcissist," Castiel gave a silence agreement. "You never let me help you. And I'll be pissed by the way if you ask someone other than me for help just so you know." Gabriel gave him a stare down.

"Thanks man," Castiel spoke looking away again. "By the way we have to go to the Garrison. I promised Michael I would do confession, just to make him feel better about my well-being." Gabriel groaned in agony as if Castiel had stabbed him in the throat. "Come on it's not that bad." Castiel lifted his leg and pressed it to Gabe's face.

"Man, you have no idea how much sinning I was planning to do tonight though!" Gabe complained throwing a slight fit.

"Well then," Castiel's cock twitched slightly at the thought of sex even with his best friend. And sat up straddling Gabriel, "I guess we'll have to do a lot of sinning before I go and confess."

They both knew they sucked at having a relationship together; they tried once and failed miserably. Finally about 7 years ago they just decided to say 'let's just be best friends with a side fuck buddies to cure their lust'. And it's worked for 7 years now without a problem.

"Hell yes." Gabriel wrapped his arms around Castiel as Gabriel pulled him in to a deep kiss, moving his hand around Castiel's back and rubbing his hole hungrily.

Castiel gasped and threw his head back, "Shit you're eager huh? When was the last time you fucked?"

"Three weeks ago." Gabe panted into Castiel's neck biting and nipping at the flesh.

"W-why didn't you ask me?" Castiel gasped as Gabe's fingers slowly pressed into Castiel and began to work him open.

"Because I didn't want to be the needy one." He chuckled biting down on Castiel's shoulder and bucking his hip lightly making his hard on brush against Castiel's thigh.

"You're always needy, now just fuck me." He whispered in Gabe's ear.


	3. Brown Paint

Castiel and Gabriel drove up to the church and parked in a lot across the street. Getting out of the car Castiel was already pissing and moaning about something. "You see? This is why we need a different section for clothing and make up." After a couple rounds with Gabriel, Castiel found his street clothing, more importantly white button up shirt, with a hole burned completely through the fabric from Charlie's flat iron.

"Ah, shut up Cassie. You look fine."

"No, I look like a priest." He said shutting Gabe's car door hard as he motioned to his black clothing and beginning to walk across the street. "Plus this is Lucifer's. It's too big on me." Castiel said pulling up the pants and tightening the belt around his waist.

"Hey you could have taken the cowboy get up but NO." Gabriel said sarcastically.

"They had no ass to them."

"I don't see the problem here."

Castiel turned around to Gabe when he got to the other side of the road. "I look like a Father. I look like I should be telling people to do Hell Mary's not doing them myself."

Gabriel walked over in silence, "What do you want me to say? I feel like I should burn for even stepping near this place." Gabe looked up to the large steeple.

"Tell me the truth Gabe, how oversized is this outfit on me?" Castiel said opening his arms wide and doing a small turn around.

"Honestly," Gabe said looking him up and down. "It looks a little tight around the crotch, but long in the legs, but hell let's face it yours his bigger than Luci's anyway."

A small smile crawled over Castiel's face. "Shut up." He punched Gabe's shoulder lightly and pulled him along. Inside the church Castiel pointed to the back pew for Gabriel and continued walking up towards the front to the priest near the alter. "Excuse me Father Murphy?"

The man turned around and gave Castiel a surprised look. "Yes?"

"Father Novak is working the confessionals tonight correct?"

"Yes he is." The priest gave him a strange look, obviously not knowing who he actually was. "Father Novak will be back in a few minutes. You can sit and wait for him."

"Thank you." He nodded and went to sit on the first pew. Father Murphy headed to a room in the back of the church possibly to seek out the other priest.

While Castiel sat in the church another man walked in to the church a bit loudly but Castiel kept his gaze forward and looked at the small alter.

As Dean looked around the church the first person he came to was playing a game on his phone silently. "Excuse me," Dean tapped Gabriel on the shoulder. "Do you know where I could find Father Novak?"

Gabriel looked up from his phone a bit annoyed until his eyes caught sight of the incredibly handsome man. "Um," He tried to play it off cool and looked over to Castiel sitting in the front. He was bored and surely this would give him something fun to watch instead of an old app of Angry Birds that he already beat. "I believe that's him up in the front row." Gabe pointed to his friend.

"Thanks." Dean gave him a small wave and took long strides to get to the man quickly so he could go home and sleep and forget about this day already. "Excuse me, Father?" Castiel didn't move, why would he? He wasn't even an actual priest. "Father Novak." Dean sat down on the pew next to him and took a ragged breath when he laid eyes on the handsome man. From what his brother told him, he had dark hair but he never said 'you may want to fuck him'. Usually Dean never had a problem around men like he did women, it was simply easier to force down his attraction. But at this moment he was just praying not to pop a boner in front of the priest.

Castiel turned his gaze to the man that gasped next to him and did the same when their eyes locked. He was gorgeous, not the 'aw your baby is so gorgeous!' gorgeous, the actual 'fuck me right this instant' gorgeous. Castiel's mouth hung a jar as he tried to scan his face for every detail taking it all in from is light brown freckles to his amazingly green eyes.

They stayed that way for what seemed like minutes just staring mutually at each other, until Castiel finally blinked and broke the trance. "Yes?" Shit. He couldn't believe he was impostering his brother just to talk to this man.

"My brother told me that I should see you. He told me that you listen and don't judge people for what they are or do only give advice. Is that true?" Castiel nodded. "In that case I have to talk to you about me and my girlfriend Jo." Damn it, he's straight! Castiel nodded again and looked over Dean's shoulder to Gabriel who was laughing silently with the biggest shit eating grin on his face.

Castiel threw a death glare that made Gabriel squeak and hide under the pews out of sight. Castiel turned back to Dean and forced a small smile. "Me and her don't really see eye to eye on much of anything lately. We always seem to wind up in an argument somehow. But I know deep down we love each other, but I feel like something is just wrong between us at the moment. She's becoming very cruel and lately she's been digging it in harder."

Castiel had no idea what to say, he sucked at relationships royally, so he didn't have the most successful streak of happy relationships. How did his brother do this? "Well with your long history together, 5 years, I assume there's something about her that is redeeming correct?" Dean gave a silent nod. "I think you need to find it, maybe instead of fighting you both should consider couples counseling. Our church has some programs if you would be interested."

"No, no counseling." Dean looked away, "In all honestly, I don't want to be with her anymore. She's poisoned the relationship too much. Jesus." Dean gasped out and looked anywhere but Castiel with watery eyes.

"Don't blaspheme." Castiel said on reflex. He knew his brother hated when he cursed in front of him.

"Sorry, I just can't believe I'm having a chick flick moment."

Castiel's head tilted slightly at the terminology. "Chick flick moment?"

"Yeah," Dean finally looked to Castiel, "Sharing and caring feelings crap that girls are suckers for."

"Well let's get away from the feelings for a moment. What is your name?"

"Dean."

"Dean, I'm Castiel Novak. It's a pleasure to meet you." Castiel said holding out his hand. Dean shook the offered hand firmly and gave a small smile. "You don't have to call me Father, just call me Castiel." Why was he flirting with a straight man, in a church, in a priest's outfit, impersonating his brother?!

"Cass-ee-el?"

"No, no. Cass-T-el." He corrected.

"Okay, I will never say that correctly. I know I may be pressing my luck but how about Cas?"

Castiel was thrown back at the new nick name, even though he was 32 years old that was a new one. "Cas. Cas? CAS." He said trying it out over his tongue. He gave a silent 'eh, I could dig it' nod and smiled to Dean. "Sounds wonderful. So tell me something about yourself, just something small, and nothing too personal we can work up to that eventually."

Dean thought it over for a moment or two look at the stone floor, "Well, I like pie."

Castiel gave a small chuckle at the simplicity of the information, "I like pie too. Any particular flavor wins over others?"

"Apple. A classic and the main staple for my college diet."

"Wow you're lucky; all I got in college was salty ramen and a theology degree." They laughed together. And somehow Cas didn't feel as bad about the lying because technically he hadn't been lying to Dean, he did get a degree in theology (even though it was his minor), he was a Novak, and if he swung for the other team he more than like would have been a Father of some sort.

"Yeah, I got my degree in engineering. Although I was slightly miss lead by the degree's title, so instead of working on cars, like I wanted to, I am I residential contractor."

"Really?

"Yeah, you know those Meadow View homes over on the North West side of Seattle?"

"Yes." Castiel lived in that very same neighborhood.

"I actually designed those homes, and built part of the kitchen for two of the houses." Dean smiled at his accomplishment.

"Amazing!" Holy crap Dean could have built his kitchen, his hands touching the white granite counter tops and mahogany cabinets. "Which one did you actually help build?" The questions just slipped right out

Dean looked away as he racked his brain's memories for the answer. "I built the kitchen for the model home, of course. And I believe it was the last house of the subdivision to be finished that I worked on. It was a house near the backside of the subdivision. Do you wanna know a funny story?" Dean smiled at Castiel who at this point was all ears grinning at him. "On that last house we had a new employee come in, this kid was such a clutz. One day as we were finishing up the master bedroom this kid brought up a gallon of dark brown paint to the room so they could do the trimming. And this idiot dropped the can and the whole bucket just emptied in two seconds flat. Brown paint EVERYWHERE! We were mopping for two days trying to get enough of it up so the smell was gone and we could put down the carpet. I wanted to ring the kid's neck."

Castiel couldn't stop smiling. Dean was so enthusiastic about his work. Even though it wasn't exactly what he wanted to do in life, he was happy with it. "It's nice to find peace in your work isn't it?"

"It is." Dean smiled. The two just smiled at each other for a long moment before eventually they were jerked out of that little world by Father Murphy returning into the main church. Dean took another jagged breath and gave Cas a quick smile before standing up. "I'm not sure if it helped talking to you, but it was nice never the less. Can I come by another time?"

Castiel pulled his phone out and looked at it quickly, it was Monday 2:23am. "Sure, I don't usually work nights, but I'll be here Wednesday and Thursday nights if you want to come back and talk."

Dean's face almost lit up, "I would love to. I'll see you on Wednesday then." Dean said quickly nodding and walking quickly out of the church.

Castiel stood up straight as the man walked out, and as soon as the doors closed he slumped immediately. "What was that?" Father Murphy said coming down the few steps from the alter.

"That is my ticket to Hell." He said smiling at the Father and patting his shoulder. Spotting his brother come through the small side door of the church, "About time, Michael. Let's get to confessing."


	4. God is Angry

**A/N: Trigger Warnings for post-rape and trauma.**

Making his way down the front steps of the church with a smile on his face, Dean grabbed his phone out of this pocket; 2 missed calls, a voice mail, and a text from Jo. Dean rolled his eyes, sitting down on the last step. And putting the phone up to his ear, it was Sam:

"_Hey Dean, something is wrong with Adam, he's running a fever. So, me and Jess are going to take him to the ER. Don't worry too much we think it's an ear infection but we're leaving a key under the door mat so you can get in. I guess I'll see you in the morning when we get back. Drive safe._"

He smiled lightly and looked to the other missed call; it was Jo. He scrolled quickly through his phone and got to the text:

_From: Jo Jo  
Time: 2:13am MON 1-28-13  
hey babe im sorry i didnt mean to say those things come home and well talk it over  
-jojo_

Biting the inside of his mouth he shut the phone hard, almost breaking it and shoved it back in his pocket as he got up and walked to his car. Starting the engine and turning on his radio and 'Behind Blue Eyes' by Limp Bizkit played softly. His mind raced to Cas in the church, him and those fucking amazingly blue eyes. Tolerating the new rock band to the end of the song, Dean quickly turned it over to another station when he can up to a red light. And thankfully one of his favorite songs came on just moments after the DJ shut up, 'Pour Some Sugar on Me' by Def Leppard.

Singing loudly along with Joe Elliott, Dean found his way to his brother's house and turned off the engine. Staring at the picture perfect life in front of him he began to feel more and more guilty as he made his way up the path to the house, he didn't deserve to disrupt this perfect bubble with his hellish life, Sam didn't deserve it. But all Dean needed was one night away from Jo, and he'd be ready to face her again.

Dean took the keys locking the door behind him and made his way up the stairs to the guest bedroom. Stripping down completely, Dean found the bed and nestled under the warm covers falling into a restless night's sleep. Sleep filled with blue eyes, apple pie, and a strange man named Eddie.

-0-

"You little fucker!" Castiel shouted as they exited the church kicking Gabriel in the ass.

Gabriel exploded with laughter as his friend kicked him. Jogging across the street Gabe turned back to him and cut him large smile. "Cursing so eagerly as soon as your soul had been saved. Michael wouldn't like that." He tsked as Castiel made his way through the light night traffic.

"You little shit," Castiel punched him as hard as he could in the shoulder. "What was that? I know you sent that man over to me." Castiel couldn't imagine what his friend was thinking when he sent that man over to him. "I'm not the man to be giving some guy advice on his love life. I barely function in public. I don't have 'people skills'." He said dramatically air quoting himself. Castiel fell silent as couple passed next to them. It must have looked like Castiel was yelling at his son. And some days it felt that way too, they had an extremely strange relationship. "I just don't want to fuck up my brother's reputation."

"And you won't Cassie." Gabe said as he rubbed his own shoulder.

"What the fuck is wrong with me?" Castiel covered his mouth and looked away down the street. He had lied to his brother in confessionals, lied to Father Murphy saying he knew the man, and now he was going to impersonate his brother to hit on a straight man.

"Oh a lot of things but isn't that why we're strippers?"

Castiel threw Gabriel a bitch face and dropped his hands to his sides, "Thanks." The sarcasm seeped off of Castiel. "Come on. Let's go home, I'm tired."

As Castiel and Gabriel walked back to Gabe's car someone called out to them from the car garage. "Castiel?" Shit it was Alastair. The two men froze in their tracks, neither turned around; neither took a breath, maybe if they were still enough he wouldn't see them. "Castiel it is you."

Under his breath Gabe whispered to Castiel. "Why did you date this psychopath?"

"He beat up a guy who was going to rape me." Castiel whispered back.

"Yes, but this douchebag technically did rape you." It wasn't a lie. Alastair did technically rape him. They were at a Halloween party when it happened. They went as demons together; Alastair looked horrible but amazing at the same time. They were covered in blood and looked like they had been beaten to a bloody pulp. But towards the end of the night Alastair got a bit too handys. Castiel had been drunker than a skunk, and he couldn't fight back he was far too dizzy for that, all he could say was no. It took Castiel 2 days to fully remember what happened that night and the second he completely remembered they were done. Alastair never really put up a fight when they had broken up, which worried Castiel deeply.

"Hey sweetie." Alastair spoke into his ear as an arm wrapped slowly around Castiel's shoulder. Smiling unemotionally as he reeled him in closer into his chest.

"Al, no." Castiel whimpered as he tried rolling Alastair's arm off him.

"I'm sorry it took us a couple months to get back together but I'm back sweetie." Alastair's lips ghosted over his neck softly instantly freezing him in place. To be honest, even when they were together something about Alastair was off, he always felt slightly out of control around him.

"No." Castiel whimpered softly closing his eyes tightly trying to disappear desperately. It took Castiel weeks to get back to his normal self and to stop dreaming about running away from him, and even then he would always be looking over his shoulder. Only just recently had he actually begun to drop his guard and admit to himself that he was truly gone from his life. If only it had stayed that way for good.

"Back the fuck up." Gabriel's powerful voice boomed in the car garage. When Castiel opened his eyes slightly only looking through a crack he saw Gabe holding a knife made of what looked like pure silver out in front of him sharp end pointing to Alastair.

"Oh," Alastair moved away from Castiel, releasing him and moved towards Gabe with a cat like motion. Castiel retreated as quickly as possible from the two, hiding behind a small beat up tan car. He hugged his legs in to his chest as tightly as he could trying and frantically begging to disappear.

"You think you can use that knife on me buddy?" Alastair licked his lips and brushed a hand over his greying beard.

"You want to press your luck?" Gabriel never faltered in his position. Slowly Gabriel moved around Alastair in a wide circle to get between him and Castiel. "I would kill you in a heartbeat if it meant saving him from ever seeing you again."

"Aw I'm hurt." Alastair stepped forward a couple feet until he was within arm's length of Gabriel. And with a swift motion Gabriel lashed out cutting Alastair across his midsection, sending him howling in pain, as he clutched his stomach in his arms.

"Now you're really hurt. Leave. Now." Gabe barked. Without a word Alastair left slightly doubled over in pain. He watched the man leave the parking garage slowly. As soon as Gabe knew the man was gone he looked over his shoulder and saw his friend shaking like a leaf trying to curl up inside himself. "Cassie." Gabriel murmured dropping next to him and cautiously wrapping his arms around his friend.

Castiel jerked away at first until he realized it was Gabe. He clung to Gabriel like his life depended on it. "God is mad at me isn't he. For lying to my brother?"

Gabe shushed Castiel running his fingers gently through his friend's hair. "God isn't mad, maybe upset, but he isn't mad at you." He smiled softly. "Let's get you home."

"Okay." Castiel shivered lightly as Gabriel picked him up off the ground and looked around the cars once before they moved back to his and left the garage. On their drive to their shared house Castiel was shivering still trying to calm down. He looked around Gabriel's car slowly. "You know your car sucks right?"

"Well at least it runs." Gabriel smiled over to Castiel. "It's nice to see you talking."

"Yeah," Castiel looked to the old console of the car and turned on the radio. 'My Humps' by The Black Eyed Peas blared through the speakers, Gabriel nearly swerved off the road. Castiel flailed all over the car and tried to turn it down frantically but just ended up turning it off completely. They sat in silence for a few moments before looking to each other and busting out laughing. Gabriel was almost in tears as they pulled into their neighborhood.

"Hey Cassie. Didn't I hear that your new flock member built these houses?" Gabe made a twirling motion with his finger.

"Flock?"

"That hot guy from the church. I heard you two making a date for Wednesday so he's a member of your wayward flock now right?"

"Gabe I don't have a flock. I'm not a bird."

"Then why on Earth do you have those wings tattooed on your back?"

"I was drunk." Castiel said a little too quickly.

"Right," Gabe pulled up to their house and turned off the car. "But anyway, didn't the hottie build them?"

"Dean," Castiel said getting out of the car. "His name is Dean and he designed the houses. He only built the kitchen for two of them."

"Oh!" Gabriel jumped out of the car. "Which ones?"

"The model home and some other one in the neighborhood. He said they spilled brown paint in the master bedroom. I don't have brown pain on my floor so it couldn't be ours. Calm down."

"No but you do have carpet." Gabriel said opening the door to their house and walked in. "Let's rip the carpet up and see if this is the house!" He offered bolting up the stairs.

"No! No!" Castiel shut and locked the door before bounding up the stairs after Gabe. "You are not ripping my carpet up!" Castiel got to the top of the stairs just in time to see Gabriel taking a hammer into his room. "If you even so much as touch my carpet I'll burn all of your candy stashed in your room!"

"I don't have any more candy left in the house. I'm on a diet, remember?" Gabe kneeled on the ground and put the curved part of the hammer to the edge of the carpet.

"Wanna bet I know where it is?" Castiel locked eyes with Gabriel; they had a showdown of glares for a good five minutes just frozen in place.

"Fine you win." Gabe tossed the hammer on to Castiel's bed and left the room. "I'm going to go get some water do you want any?"

"Sure." He called to Gabe as he headed down the stairs. "Only half a glass!" He walked over to the hammer and placed it on his desk and looked to the floor below him. Could this be the house Dean worked in? No it couldn't be. Castiel ignored the thought and began to take of Lucifer's costume and fold it up on his desk to take back to him. Bare naked Castiel walked to his closet and pulled out a pair of flannel pants and an oversized shirt and put them on before Gabriel made it back with the water.

"Here you go half glass with a twist." Castiel took the glass and took a sip, it tasted strange. He grimaced at the taste and looked to Gabriel with a dramatic frown.

"What's in it?"

"Just drink it."

Castiel didn't fight it; he took a couple large gulps and finished it quickly. "Now will you tell me?" He said handing the glass back to Gabe.

"Water and an Ambien." Gabriel said beginning to drink his own. "I didn't want to hear your bed creaking all night as you fought to stay awake tonight. You need to sleep this whole episode off, tomorrow is a new day and it'll be a faraway memory."

Castiel shuddered at the thought of that man again. "You're right."

"Damn right, I'm right. Now sleep. Gym tomorrow, your tummy is starting to come back." Gabe said walking out of Castiel's room and down the hall.

Sighing lightly Castiel got under the covers and wrapped himself in a small cocoon. And within a few minutes Castiel was out like a light. He was safe here, he was always safe here.


	5. Codependency

"De!" A small shrill voice stirred Dean from his pleasant dream that morning. Peering through his sleep induced murky vision and to the sun lit room, Dean groaned into his pillow and stretched his legs out. Little hands smacked against his face, "De! De! Wakkie!"

Smiling softly Dean reached out from under the blanket grabbing Adam quickly, growling like a monster. The child squealed loudly and wiggled in his clutch. "How dare you wake the beast. RAWR!" Dean sat up in the bed and tossing the child up, making him giggle as he landed back into Dean's arms. "I'm going to eat you up." Dean picked Adam up by the arms and nipped at his belly making growling noises. The child began to laugh like he was about to pass out.

"Alright, enough you two." Sam's voice chimed in from the door way.

Dean placed Adam down in his lap, the child's breathing going back down to normal. "Hey Sammy." Dean smiled up to him as Adam's small arms wrapped around his neck trying to drag him down and play with him some more.

"I hope you slept well, I told Jess you two had a fight last night." Sam said leaning against the bedroom door keeping an eye on his son as he began to pull Dean's hair.

"The guy you recommended I talk to, got my mind off that . . ." Dean glanced down to Adam. "'witch', for a couple hours. Plus, I slept better in those few hours than the last couple weeks put together."

"Why are you two still together? If you don't mind me asking."

Dean pulled Adam off of him, who was now trying to crawl on to the top of Dean's head. "Well I think somewhere deep down we still love each other like we used to. I've just invested so much time trying to make it work, I feel like I'm drowning a bit when I think of ending it with her."

"Oh." And awkward silence fell over the two. "Are you going to go back to her tonight? I mean you can stay here if you want, we don't mind. I just want to see where your head is right now."

Dean placed Adam on the floor and got up out of the bed in his boxers. Grabbing his pants from the chair by the small desk began to get dressed. "I know I have to go back eventually but I'm not sure how I'll act when I see her." His mind traced over last night's events. "If she was a guy I'd beat the living daylight out of her for even thinking ill about our mother." The two stood in silence looking away from each other avoid eye contact.

Even though Dean considered Sammy to be the most trust worthy person in his life for some reason he always felt like he had to put on a show in front of Sam acting like he knew what he was doing. Even when everyone around could see he was breaking down, it only mattered that Sam thought he was strong. And the boy was smart. He knew when Dean was in trouble and when he needed help, especially when he was afraid to ask for it, Sam offered it without hesitation.

And as much as Dean thought Sam didn't need him in his life, the truth was that Sam was just as co-dependent on Dean as his brother was to him. When their parents died Sam didn't know what to do he was only in 6th grade, and Dean essentially took their place for him. Dean did everything he could to help his brother; driving him to baseball practice, helping (or so he thought) with his homework, giving him advice with girls, bailing him out of jail when he got caught drinking at 18, and finally fixing him up to go Stanford on a full ride.

And Sam knew as well, without Dean he wouldn't be a lawyer, he wouldn't have met Jessica nor had Adam. Dean had given him everything good in his life, but Dean was too damaged to see it for himself. Dean watched Adam teeter out of the room and down the hall. "So Adam looks well?"

"Yeah he has an ear infection. When we took him he had a 101 fever, he was so lethargic he just slept through the whole ER visit. He's on antibiotics now. And thankfully the fever's gone, that's what we were worried about the most." They nodded in agreement.

"That's good to hear. That kid sure does have a fighting spirit; he even tried to conquer the terrible beast." Dean made a growling noise as he slipped into his t-shirt from the previous day. The two laughed lightly.

"Well, come on down when you finish. Jess is making eggs and bacon; it should be done pretty quickly."

"Alright."

-0-

"Cassie! Wake up!" A shoe hit Castiel in the head as he tried to retreat under the sheets.

"No!" Castiel groaned loudly kicking furiously as Gabriel tried to get him out of the bed.

"It's 3 pm. We have to go to the gym and get a workout in before actual work, now come on. Move that booty and let's go." Castiel groaned like a zombie sitting up in the bed and staring down Gabe with hazy eyes. "If you hurry up, I'll treat for burgers tonight after work."

Castiel's gaze quickly cleared up at the mention of free food. "Kripke's Burgers?"

"Yes, we can go to Kripke's. As long as you hurry up, I don't want to be in the gym with the business people who just got off work. They always stare."

"That's only because you practice your solo routine in the gym." Castiel got out of the bed hearing Gabriel chuff lightly in agreement. Heading to his closet Castiel stripped down and stared at his section of clothes for the gym. "Do I want to run or do I want to work on my core?" He thought out loud.

"Run." Gabe said flatly.

"Yeah, I was leaning that way too." He picked up his black basketball shorts and slipped them on and reached for his tight grey t-shirt. He hated wearing t-shirts; they never quite fit his body properly.

"Perfect you're dressed, grab your gym bag and let's go." Gabriel stood up from the bed and headed down the stairs to the front door. Castiel slipped on his red converse and quickly grabbed his bag chasing after his friend locking up the house as they left.

-0-

"So what are you going to do today?" Jessica said to Dean before she began to eat the eggs on her plate.

"I'm not sure," Dean contemplated his options for his Tuesday, free day off in his construction firm, along with Saturdays. His options didn't amount too many since he didn't want to go back to his house and chance Jo being there. "I may just go to the gym and blow off some steam. Exert some of this anger out on one of the punching bags."

"You can borrow my clothes," Sam stated as he chewed on his bacon. "They should fit."

"Thanks bro." Dean smiled as he finished off his plate and took it over to their sink giving it a quick rinse. "I'm going to get some and head over to the gym now."

"Okay have fun." Sam and Jess said simultaneously.

-0-

Getting to the gym Castiel went over to the small mental cage/stretching station and began to stretch out his legs. Castiel knew the moment he began to stretch eyes focused on him. He was so much more flexible than any person he knew, and he knew people that had to be flexible for a living. When he was younger he was able to do contortions that made people cringe at the sight. But when he was 15 he pulled his femur out of ots socket and after that he was never able to do contortions again. But on the brighter side his splits are amazing now.

As Castiel finished his stretch he walked over to the treadmill stretching out his triceps once more before stepping on. He looked over to where Gabriel said he would be and as usual he was doing his little hip thrusts in the mirror trying to prefect them. Castiel chuckled at the sight and practically hopped up on the treadmill with enthusiasm, "Alright six miles today." He smiled and turned on the machine and bumped it up to 8 miles per hour in a full on sprint. Castiel was good at running, he enjoyed it, and much like his job, running allowed his mind to go blank as he focused on his body.

Twelve minutes into running Castiel could feel the burn in his thighs; it was a good burn, a burn that let him know he was doing something right. He looked quickly to his right and saw what Gabriel was doing; the thigh abductor machine and grunting with each rep. Some days it was embarrassing to be anywhere near Gabe and today was going to be one of those days.

Another twenty minutes down and over 4 miles into the sprint and now Castiel could feel he was pushing it. His lungs were beginning to hurt from improper breathing. Taking a quick look around the gym to see where Gabriel was. Castiel couldn't see him so he settled for looking around at other members. And as he finished scanning over the free weights section his eye caught a familiar figure in the cross training area, it was Dean and he was kicking the shit out of the heavy bag. Dean was dressed out in navy blue baggy shorts and a tight white wife beater almost completely soaked in sweat. He was really pushing himself, and it was beyond attractive.

Castiel got lost in running as he watched Dean throwing combinations against the heavy bag. His back muscles clenched beautifully under every blow to the heavy bag. How on Earth was this man an architect? He had to have been a professional fighter by the way he moved around the punching bag. When Dean finally stopped his insane workout he took long deep quaking breaths through his mouth. Resting his hands wrapped hands on his hips as he breathed Dean looked around the gym. Observing others as they worked out, Castiel could feel his chest become tighter with every second that Dean looked around the gym. When Dean finally did spot Castiel surprise was written all over the man's face as he arched his eyebrows.

And not two seconds later Castiel felt his legs turn to jelly and the rapidly moving treadmill threw him backwards. "Fuck!" He yelled loudly his body slamming against the wall behind him, and as he slummed to the ground he threw more and more curses. Castiel cursed loud enough to grab the attention of every single person in the gym, every single last person. Within seconds people were by his side checking for injuries and making sure the man was alright. He dismissed them all by showing he could still stand up and walk. And that's what Castiel did; he walked straight into the locker rooms to get as far away from at least half the crowd as he could.

Castiel sat on the small bench between the lockers and took off his running shoes and socks. How could he be so stupid! Castiel peeled off his t-shirt and looked down to his knees, they were slightly grazed and a bit bloody, which meant he was going to have to wear high boots tonight to cover them up. He looked to his left at the mirror by the sinks and turned his back slightly to see the main damage. It wasn't as bad as his knees but it was going to leave a nasty bruise which would turn up tomorrow for sure, for tonight covering his body in oil glitter would help cover the immediate redness. Lucifer would know what to do after that.

Holding his head in his hands as he looked down he noticed the obvious bulge in his shorts and cursed loudly in frustration. Wounded and horny. Castiel stood up and looked around quickly, no one was in the locker room, so he took advantage of it and slid off his basketball shorts exposing the rest of his flesh to the chilly air. Despite the cold, his hard on still persisted. He had only watched Dean workout for less than 30 seconds and this is how his body betrayed him, unbelievable. Opening his locker quickly he took out his blue towel and a bottle of shampoo and headed for the showers.

Draping his towel on the outside rack he placed the small bottle in the shower with him and closed the curtain. As Castiel cleansed his body under the warm shower's water, his body sent another pulse of arousal through his body this time Castiel was well aware of his stiffening member. He tried to listen to see if anyone had entered the locker room, he didn't hear a sound. With a shaky breath Castiel wrapped his hand around his cock and paused.

Castiel closed his eyes tightly, this was so wrong, and began to move his hand cautiously against this member. It had been so long since it was just him alone with his imagination, which tended to be a dangerous partner in Castiel's case. As his cock grew harder in his hands. Only imagining Dean for some reason, as hard as he tried to imagine Mr. February from Playgirl, all he could see in his mind was Dean. Envisioning his strong body pressing Castiel flush against the cold tiles, as he ran his powerful fingers along Castiel's length, stroking him roughly. "Dean." Dean's own cock pressed flush against Castiel's thigh.

Castiel's jaw dropped open as he let a wanton moan escape from his body. The very image of Dean nipping at his neck made Castiel's knees weak. He collapsed against the wall stroking his member harder and with more passion. Dean's mouth worked his way down Castiel's body, his tongue moving along his hip bones sent a shiver down his spine making Castiel buck his hips suddenly against the imaginary man. "Ah! Dean." He whimpered. Those green eyes watching every move Castiel made. Castiel could feel his orgasm pooling in his stomach quickly. And with one final thrust into the air, Castiel cried out Dean's name in ecstasy panting his name softly as he came down from his high.

Castiel panted hard as he laid flat on his back the shower, warm water washing away the evidence of his wicked actions. Castiel opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling for a couple moments and stood up washing away the rest of his seed and turned off the water. Taking a tentative look around the locker room it seemed to still be empty. Castiel wrapped the towel around his waist and took his shampoo back to his locker to get dressed.

-0-

Panting heavily Dean dropped his arms in defeat as they became too exhausted. Trying to calm his breathing Dean looked away from the heavy bag and around the gym. He watched the free weights tentatively. He never had the form to do them correctly so he always stayed with the machines. His eyes moved over to the stretching station seeing a very flexible short man with long brown hair stretch out his hamstrings. He winched at the thought of pulling a groin muscle and moved on. Finally he looked over to the aerobic machines, ellipticals always looked like fun, stepping machines looked like hell, but then there was always the tredmi- Father Novak?

The man was full out sprinting on the machine how he could have not seen the man sooner, was a freaking mystery. It wasn't as if this man could blend easily into a crowd, he was far too handsome for that. Just as he was about to wave at the priest the man fell and slammed into the wall behind him. "FUCK!" The man's gruff voice echoed in the gym. A priest who cussed? Maybe it was just a slip up. As Dean moved quickly over to Cas more audible cussing was with in ear shot. Okay something was up? He watched as Cas got up from the ground and pushed several people away slightly limping into the men's locker room.

Dean made his way across the gym slowly dodging people who were returning to their workouts. Dean went by the machine Cas was on and looked at it. It showed his final work out stats and quickly disappeared. Did he see almost 4 ½ miles on a sprint! Wow this priest was really in shape. Why did he fall though? Dean questioned as he made his way into the locker room and heard the shower curtain shut. Must have been another person, he had to see if Cas was alright. The water turned on, Dean looked around the corner at the other lockers and wondered where the man could have gone. And as soon as Dean sat down on the small bench he heard the most breath taking moan that had ever graced his ears. A moan so powerful and animalistic it sent a wave of pure desire to his cock.

Another man was masturbating in the showers. How could he just sit there and listen, Dean was slightly disgusted in himself. His hand pressed into his groin moving his cock slightly, giving it the friction it so desperately wanted. That's when he heard his name, not just his name was said, and everything about that man was said in that one wantonly moaned word. Castiel Novak was masturbating to him. There was no doubt in Dean's mind that it wasn't Cas. In that moment his cock couldn't have been harder; it was begging to be touched to the thought of the man in the showers moaning his name. To be jerked and abused so roughly that he would cum all over the man's face.

Dean couldn't stop himself, not now; he pulled his shorts down to his knees and bit his lip hard as he began to stroke himself in time with Castiel. His fingers grabbed the wooden bench beneath him and kept him from bucking his hips into the air. Castiel panted his name over and over, each time louder and more wanton than the previous. Dean felt the imminent orgasm rushing through his veins, but as soon as he heard Castiel scream his name out to the heavens he came so hard he saw white specks in his vision.

Stroking himself through the rest of the orgasm he panted heavily as he tasted the coppery liquid slid in his mouth. He had come so violently he split his lip open trying to stay quite. Dean grabbed a towel from the fresh set the gym leaves out and wipes his hand and stomach up. Pulling his shorts up quickly, as her hears the water turn off and the shower curtain open. Dean listened to the direction the man was walking and kept his orientation opposite of him finding himself in the showers as Castiel got dressed and left the locker rooms.

Son of a bitch. Dean took a long sigh and thought about it for a moment. He didn't know which was worse; jerking of to a priest or a priest jerking off to him. Either way he was surely going to hell for this.

**_A/N: Comments and concerns are always welcome._**


	6. Scars and Neighbors

Dean pushed the door open to Sam's house and saw Sam and Jess sitting on the couch watching TV, he gave them a small smile and headed up the stairs to take a shower. "Hey Dean," Sam called from the top of the stairs, stopping Dean as he entered the bathroom.

"Yeah, Sammy."

"It's Sam." He mumbled.

"What?"

"Nothing," Sam grumbled putting his hands in his pocket. "So how did the gym go?"

"Good." Dean bit his tongue and smiled. "Oh! I saw Father Novak there; he seemed hell bent on physical fitness."

"Yeah, he told me he and his brother were dedicated gym users. They're both in top physical shape. It's odd; I didn't think he'd be there. He usually works in the church during the week."

"Oh, well he was there." Dean went into the bathroom and shut the door behind him sinking to the ground. Oh this wasn't going to end well, he had to face that man tomorrow night. How could he have a decent talk with him, when they had mutually (but unknowingly) masturbated together? He'd only be thinking of those beautiful moans that he'd be able to produce, shit if he wasn't a priest he'd have that man pinned against the wall in a heartbeat.

Dean sat on the ground a few more moments with his knees into his chest staring at the tile before a loud knock came on the bathroom door. "Hey Dean, I meant to tell you something. Jo called our house today; she said she really needs to talk with you. I think you should go see her after your shower, she sounded a bit uneasy."

"O-okay Sammy." He said into his knees not really registering his brother's words as he spoke through the door.

~0~

This final routine was Castiel's least favorite of his dances; it showcased the women more than the men and never gave the men time to remove their tight black pants. But reluctantly he had almost begged Ash to have them change the lineup of the set tonight so he wouldn't leave the crowd thinking about his beat up knees and all the sinful ideas that would follow, even though it made his tips go through the roof.

Castiel's hips swirled and jerked in time with the erratic tempo of the fast paced group choreography. His body pressed tightly against Meg's back side as she, along with the rest of the girls, stripped down completely naked. It was one of the few times in Purgatory's history that the dance did best with the women completely naked. Usually their clients were mostly gay men and women, so full nude females were rare here. Castiel lifted Meg in the air making her spin in his grasp as she turned to the floor. His back was unbelievably sore, but as he expected he wasn't bruising yet so the startling amount of oil glitter didn't seem too out of place across his chest and back.

As the song ended with a sharp up beat Castiel plastered Meg against his chest kissing her passionately in front of the crowd as the choreography called for. Although the kiss was always a bit forced between the dance partners, for some reason a spark of passion ran through his veins tonight. He was sure Meg felt it as well as he released her and the crowed almost screamed with enthusiasm, the women took a small bow disappear off stage and the men taking a bigger bow and the lights went black and returned to normal shortly after letting the customers see the ground around them.

"What was that?" Meg called after Castiel, stopping him before he went into the showers to remove the damned oil glitter that made his arms stick to his body.

"What?" He stopped and turned to her.

"The kiss, I know you're not straight." Meg heard that fact straight from the horse's mouth when she asked him out 2 years back. "So what's gotten into you tonight. You're acting a bit strange. Since when do you willingly talk to Ash? Let alone beg him."

"I didn't beg him." He corrected her quickly, "I just . . . pleaded adamantly."

Meg shifted her weight to her left hip and crossed her arms under her breasts. "You're not helping your case Clarence."

"I-" Castiel wanted to lie to her but, besides Gabriel she was one of the few people he actually interacted with outside work. "Fine." Castiel said starting to unbutton his tight pants.

Meg cocked an eye brow, "Is this going where I think it's going?" She smiled to him with her signature mischievous and infection grin. Castiel threw an 'eat me' bitch face and dropped his pants stepping out of them showing her his legs. "Jesus!" She pulled back slightly.

"Yup," Castiel's shins were worse than he anticipated them to be. He had a long jagged gash on his left leg from the top of his knee to the bottom of his calf. He suspected it was from the treadmill catching on some of his skin. His right shin didn't look as bad only bruising and tiny scrapes on his knee. "I fell."

She shot him a disbelieving frown, "Seriously, 'I fell'. You sound like an abuse victim. Now why did you fall? You have better balance than anyone I know."

He took a heavy sigh rolling his neck to the side, "I saw someone I knew and I fell off the treadmill earlier today."

When Castiel paused she looked him up and down, "And?" She said impatiently.

"AND . . ." He bit his bottom lip looking away. "I popped a boner. I'm going to go shower now." Castiel mumbled grabbing his pants from the ground and scurrying away.

"You sly dog!" She shouted back with a grin in her voice. "I better hear if you get some tail or not!"

~0~

"About time you showed your face." Jo spoke flatly to Dean from the top of the stairs as he entered his house. Dean's memory flashed to Monday night's argument and the passionate hate scorched through his bones once again.

"Jo" He said looking away from her, "Shut up. What did you want to talk about?" Throwing his jacket on the couch next to him.

"Yes, I'm leaving."

Dean reeled back in shock as he tried to process. "Leaving? Why?"

She scoffed in disbelief. "Come on Dean we're not happy any more. I hate myself for hating you. And I seriously hate you at this moment in our lives, but I don't want to hate you anymore. You're a good man Winchester but we're poisonous together, and you know that."

"Okay." He could feel the pressure in his chest begin as he began to drown.

"I packed my bags last night. They're already at Pamela's, I just wanted to say good-bye Dean." She explained calmly walking down the stairs to Dean. "I hope you have a good life."

"Okay." He repeated softly as she left. "Maybe someday I'll call to see how you're doing."

"No you won't." She jokingly punched him in the shoulder. "See ya on the flip side Winchester."

With the final good-bye he stood there in the silent house. A house filled with memories, both good and bad memories of their time together. Dean walked slowly into the kitchen looking at the empty holes where Jo had taken things that belonged to her from the start and some things that they had bought together.

He knew the house would remain a constant reminder to him of what they had created and destroyed together. That he hadn't tried hard enough to keep them together, that he had failed. He had to leave, leave it all behind and move away from the injuries and scars left here. Tonight.

~0~

"Ah." Castiel moaned gently throwing his head back in the air closing his eyes softly letting every nerve light up in ecstasy. "Oh God this is so good!"

"Jesus, Cassie. It sounds like you're having sex over there." Gabe chuckled taking another bite out of his large burger with extra cheese.

Kripke Burger and Fries was just about the IT spot for all of Seattle. Nowhere else had better burgers, nowhere else could top their comfy décor, and nowhere else had Chuck; who was just about the sincerest business owner you could think of. Chuck had a way with his customers, no matter if they were having a shit day or the best day of their lives, Chuck could make it just a little bit better with his smile.

"It's. Just. So. Good!" He mumbled as he sunk his teeth into the soft and fluffy bun and moaned again.

Gabriel laughed lightly and picked up a few fries shoving them into his mouth and chased them down with a sip of root beer. The door to the small burger joint opened up and made Gabe turn around in his seat to look at the incoming customers. It was two police officers; one female and the other male. They made their way up to the front counter and began to talk to Chuck who was closing down the diner for the night. They were just out of ear shot, but the man was holding up a picture at Chuck. Chuck made a motion with his chin towards Castiel and Gabriel. "Castiel, I think we need to go. Now." Gabe said under his breath.

"What why?" Castiel said with a mouth full of food.

"Excuse me." The female officer said approaching the two sitting at the small table. "Are you Gabriel Rick Speight Jr.?"

Gabe took a large sigh and put down his food. "Yeah, that's me sweetheart."

"Mr. Speight, we are here for your arrest, for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon against a Mr. Heyerdahl." The female officer spoke as the male officer picked Gabriel from his seat and placed him in cuffs.

"Mr. Heyerdahl? Alastair?!" Castiel said boldly standing up from the table. "That man raped me two months ago, if Gabriel hadn't been there last night to protect me, he probably would have done it again." Castiel's voice choked up and seized in his throat as he became over whelmed with terror.

The man started reading Gabriel his Miranda Rights as the woman looked to Castiel. "We have to take Mr. Speight in for further questioning. When he gets his lawyer then you'll be able to talk with him about the case. But for now we have to bring him to the station."

"Can you give Cassie my keys he doesn't have a car anymore? They're in my left pocket." The male police officer reached in his pocket and pulled out his key ring handing it to Castiel.

"I'll get you a good lawyer Gabe." Gabe smiled and nodded to Castiel as they took him away. Leaving Castiel looking down at the keys in silence.

"Hey Castiel," Chuck spoke from behind the counter with his friendly grin painted across his scruffy face. "Why don't I get you a fresh burger to go, since we're closing up and all? And of course on the house, you and Gabe are like family here."

Castiel gave him a weak smile putting Gabe's keys in his pocket. "Sure Chuck."

~0~

Dean pushed the door open to the model home in the Meadow View community he had built 4 years back. He had built the majority of this house in some way and it was refreshing to see it all again. His hand dragged across the furniture and moved over the lamp to turn it on. Everything about these houses were amazing, it was one of the first house development that his company allowed him to have full reign over. So he poured everything he had into them, because of it he was now one of the senior contractors of his company.

Dean had bought the model home 2 years ago for nostalgia purposes and just let the company use it for the model while they sold the rest of the homes. But now that all the homes were sold he might as well take it for himself.

He'd tell the company in the morning that he was turning the model into his own home. For now he need to go to sleep it was already 2 am. Dean walked back outside and grabbed his suitcase from the trunk, waving at an old beat up car that passed by the house. He was unable to see the driver so he just put on a friendly smile. They'd be neighbors now, might as well put a friendly face on to get on their good side.

~0~

Castiel entered the neighborhood to go back to his home and call up a good lawyer. The WBC law firm in Seattle had a good reputation for winning court cases. Hopefully they could get Gabriel off without charges for assault. As he wound the corner to his home he found a car parked in front of the model home about 4 houses down from his. God he loved that home so much, it was decorated perfectly and all the appliances were brand new, unused, and didn't smell like the burritos Gabe ate.

A man walked out of the dimly lit home and out to the old car. He pulled what looked like a suitcase from the trunk. Castiel rolled by slowly in disbelief. It was motherfucking Dean! He slumped down in the seat trying to hide as Dean waved at the car. Maybe he didn't see him. Maybe he was just friendly. He could only hope that Dean kept to himself and didn't want to be friends with all his neighbors.


	7. Smiley Faces

Wednesday had rolled around quickly, Castiel almost thought he had lost time when he looked at his watch that night and it seemed to be already 8pm. His day off with hectic to say the least. He had called the WBC law firm earlier that morning as requested a lawyer for Gabriel. When he told the woman on the line that money wasn't an issue they had assigned someone immediately to him, his name was Samuel Winchester. And he didn't sound much older than him or Gabe. But right away from talking to the man over the phone he knew Samuel knew what he was doing. Castiel had to explain a little of the back story so he would know what he needed from Gabriel and told Castiel he would meet with him in a few hours.

That was at 10 am this morning, now it was 8:12pm and Castiel hadn't done a damned thing all day. He just sat there and stared through the glass table in their dining room. He knew what tonight was, and he had dreaded going back over to Michael's church. He didn't want to chance running into Alastair again all alone this time but, he knew he had to do something important. He had to face his brother and own up to his mistakes.

"Hello Michael." Castiel spoke solemnly and came up to Michael in the church parking lot and hugged his brother tightly.

"Hey Castiel, what are you doing here so late?" Michael asked and hugged his brother back with enthusiasm.

He couldn't lie to his brother anymore; his best friend was being held for assault because of him. And he knew that it was his fault. Accidents don't accidentally happen, not to Castiel, this was God punishing him in some strange way for his lies. "I need to do confession. Do you mind?"

Michael looked at Castiel for a moment, "Sure, yeah of course. Are you alright?"

Castiel nodded lightly to his brother, "I will be."

~0~

"Well Castiel," Michael said on the other side of the confessionals. "What brings you here? It hasn't been 3 days yet."

Castiel was quite as he looked down at his hands, "I've lied a lot recently."

"What did you lie about, Castiel?"

"I pretended to be you, to talk to this man, Dean, last time I was here." Nothing came from the other side of the confessionals. "I lied to him saying I was you because I wanted to know the man. I thought he was incredibly handsome, and something inside of me just told me to lie, to keep him close to me. He came right up to me and called me Father Novak, how could I refuse? I also lied in confessionals, last time I was here, saying that I hadn't lied." Castiel took a moment to chuckle. "Which just made a larger lie. I also lied to Father Murphy; I saying I knew Dean previously so he wouldn't ask too many questions."

"Castiel, I've been with you almost every day of your life growing up." Castiel knew exactly where he was going with this speech. "And you remember what I told you over and over growing up, right?"

"Yes," Castiel sighed. " 'If it isn't true, don't say it. If you say a false truth then you no longer can be trusted and, I will no longer trust you.' "

"And?" Michael spoke in a condescending tone. "Do you want to lose my trust?"

"No."

"Then you have to tell this man the truth." There was a long pause between the two, "Is there something else?"

"Yes."

"Well, what is it Castiel?"

Castiel pulled his knees into his chest as he sat on the hard confessional bench. "I masturbated to him in the gym showers yesterday before work."

"You what?" He had never caught Michael completely off guard by what he had said in his entire life. It felt odd but, it tasted like victory. With Michael being a priest, his brother had heard almost every sin there is out there to be heard. But in the moment after, it stung; like a large needle just jabbed into his stomach and injected poison into his soul.

"You heard me correctly. Masturbated. To Dean. In the gym showers." He said slowly.

You could practically hear Michael as he reeled back in shock from his brother. They sat there in relative silence; Castiel's leg was shook violently against the old boards below his feet. "I'm not even sure where to start with that."

"Just be honest and give me that hardest blow first."

"Well, no offense intended, but from what I've learned as a priest, I can almost guarantee that at this moment you'd go to hell if you died."

"Well I better not die then." Castiel joked.

"Yeah," Michael quipped lightly with Castiel. "Is that all?"

"I think so."

"Good, as your brother I'm not going to force my religion on you concerning the homosexual act you committed yesterday. But I will talk to you as your brother right now. If you don't tell him the truth I will. And I won't be as nice as I normally am."

Castiel busted out laughing at the threat. "Okay, okay you've made your point. I'll tell him the truth eventua-."

"No," Michael cut him off. "The very next time you see this man you will tell him."

The younger brother nodded silently, "Okay, Michael. Thank you." Castiel made his way up from the confessional and stood outside the wooden box as Michael got out. "Michael, if I plan to keep my promise to you I need to ask you for two favors."

Michael gave him a questioning glare, "What do you want now?" His old brother's familiar personality finally coming out.

"I need you to give the man that will come in here tonight my number." Michael rolled his head back and sighed, it was only a matter of time before Michael's real attitude reached the surface. Even though Michael was a priest he was still Castiel's brother, and when Michael wasn't on the job it looked as if he had a huge 'bitch, please' sign painted on his face. "And I need you to not say who you are directly. You can say anything to him besides 'Father Novak', okay? Do we have a deal?"

"Not yet, brother. I need something from you in return." Castiel shifted a bit worried at the request. "I want you to attend morning mass every day until you've told this man. That means I want your butt in that first pew right in front of my podium at 4:45am. No if, ands, or butts. I don't care if your job doesn't end until 2 or 3 am if you aren't here then I will no longer keep your favor."

Castiel sighed and thought about the deal that would mean he would be at mass in 3 hours from now. How on Earth would he be expected to hold this promise? "Deal." Michael held out his hand and they shook on it. "He said he would be coming around 2:30-ish tonight to talk with me again. Can you just tell him I was unable to stay that late here anymore? It's actually the truth. I had a run in with Alastair last time."

Michael covered his mouth in shock and blinked away his surprise. "What did you do?"

"I froze. If it wasn't for Gabe I would have probably been raped again. He saved me."

"Why isn't he here?" Michael questioned and looked over the pews.

"He's being held for assault against Alastair. He was trying to protect me. But it's my fault, if I hadn't lied in confessionals I probably wouldn't have crossed paths with Alastair and Gabriel would still be here."

"Don't beat yourself up. I'll walk you out to your car to be sure you're safe, and I'll be sure to give this…Dean?" Castiel nodded. "Your number."

"Thank you, Michael."

~0~

Dean sat in the church quietly staring at the pattern of wood on the pew in front of him. He never heard the priest come up beside him. "Excuse me." Michael stood at the end of the pew and looked at Dean with a slight tilt in his neck. "Are you Dean?"

"Y-yes. I am." He cleared his throat. "And you are…"

"Father Michael," It was odd, he had never heard his first name with his title before. "I am the main priest here. And Castiel told me to give this to you." Michael smiled and handed him a small piece of paper to Dean. "Regrettably, he will be unable to make it to the night services for a while. There have been a few security problems as of late."

Dean looked to the paper, it was a number written down in incredibly neat hand writing. "What's this?" He asked softly, his eyes never leaving the paper.

"That would be Castiel Novak's number."

His number?! In his hands he held the ten digit combination that would allow him to reach Cas any moment of the day. "Oh." He replied trying not to sound as eager as he felt. "So he won't be here tonight?" Dean actually wished to hear Castiel's voice again.

"I'm afraid not, but is there anything I can do to help you? It looks like you have something troubling on your mind." Michael offered.

"No, I'm good. Thank you, Father." Dean said as he got out of the pew and headed out of the church.

"You have a good night Dean. Get home safely." Michael called after him.

Dean stepped out in the bleak weather of northern Seattle; he popped the collar to his leather jacket and tried to make himself as small as he could within his jacket. The weather here had taken a turn for the worse in the past couple hours and now the wind whipped and thrashed against anything that stood in its way. It had become truly worrisome.

Dean made his way back to his Impala within a few minutes, since he had to park her a couple blocks down from the church. He got into the car he slung his coat off and shivered for a moment as the car's heater started to kick in. He grabbed phone out of his pants pocket he held the small paper in his hand. Quickly he put Cas's number into his phone before the little paper would somehow disappear from his hold.

Dean stared at the ten digit number on his screen and smiled softly bit his lip. Without a second thought he sent a quick text to Cas and tossed his phone on the seat next to him.

~0~

Stretched out across his silk sheets, Castiel moaned into his pillow as his phone pinged loudly on the nightstand. He reached blindly over to his phone and looked at through his sleepy lids. It was a new text.

**From: 425-555-1979**  
**Time: 2:44am THUR 1-31-13**  
_Hey Cas, what are you up to?_

Confused and a bit nervous Castiel typed back a quick reply. '_Who is this? ~Castiel_'

A few moments later another short text pinged into his phone.

**From: 425-555-1979**  
**Time: 2:51am THUR 1-31-13**  
_It's Dean. Sorry I should have written that as well._

Castiel's face flushed as he read over the second word about 20 times before he sat up straight in his bed and immediately saved the contact. '_I'm good. I was just sleeping. ~Castiel_' He texted back.

**From: Dean**  
**Time: 2:54am THUR 1-31-13**  
_Sorry man. I didn't mean to wake you. Why are you getting up to early?_

'_I have to go to mass. Plus I'm usually going to bead about this time of night anyways so it's no big deal. ~Castiel'_

**From: Dean**  
**Time: 3:01am THUR 1-31-13**  
_Oh well! The reason I'm texting you so late is because I was wondering if you'd be able to meet up some time this week. Maybe Friday? :)_

What the hell did that smiley face mean?! '_I'm sorry I have to work late on the weekends. ~Castiel_'

**From: Dean**  
**Time: 3:08am THUR 1-31-13**  
_Then maybe I could meet you at the church?_

Crap. '_I won't be at the church. I'll be at a different job. ~Castiel_'

**From: Dean**  
**Time: 3:13am THUR 1-31-13**  
_Oh okay. Well if you get any free time I'd really like to talk with you. I have something to tell you._

'_You can tell me now. ~Castiel_' Might as well get a shower since it would be useless to go back to sleep. Castiel thought as he got out of his bed and walked to the bathroom.

~0~

Dean bit his lower lip as he sat in his driveway and texted Cas. How could he word this without sounding too pleased? '_My gf broke up with me. And I moved out of the house we shared into that neighborhood I was telling you about last time.'_

Dean sat in his car for a few minutes and stared down at the phone. Cas hadn't replied as quickly as he would have hoped, in fact it had been ten minutes before he even realized he had been in a trance. Dean looked out the window to his new home, little rain droplets ran down the windshield and fell off the car's hood quickly. The storm had died down a bit since he left the church, at this point it was just a violent sprinkle.

Pocketing the phone Dean got out of his baby and pulled a few more bags from the trunk and over his shoulder. Within the week he planned to have the old house cleaned out and ready to sell as soon as possible. Dean placed the bags in his living room and walked to the kitchen. Pulled out a beer and took a quick swig as the phone made a muffled ping in his pocket.

**From: Cas**  
**Time: 3:35am THUR 1-31-13**  
_I apologize for the wait, I just took a shower. I'm sorry to hear that. Are you okay? ~Castiel_

Dean's cock twitched at the thought of Cas in the gym's shower again moaning and writhing against the th- no no no. This is not going to happen. He thought and tried to think of dead kittens and infected scabs. It worked amazingly well. '_I think I'm going to be okay. A hug won't hurt._'

As Dean sent the text off to Cas he thought for a moment about what he just wrote and quickly scrolled back to reread the text. Why did I write that?!

**From: Cas**  
**Time: 3:41am THUR 1-31-13**  
_That's reassuring to hear and I'd give you a hug if you needed it. :)_

What the hell does that smiley face mean?!

~0~

After mass Castiel walked out of the church and yawned widely. He made his way back to Gabriel's car slowly wanting nothing more than to go back to bed. His brother had decided to be a dick this morning, as usual, and preformed the mass in Latin. Which took twice as long and having no pew in front of him he couldn't play on his phone. Castiel wanted to be shot so bad about half way through he actually began to pray for Michael to speed up his Latin.

Castiel looked to his phone to check the time. I was supposed to be meeting with Mr. Winchester about Gabriel's case at 7am over at the county jail Gabriel had been moved to. He didn't want to be late, but he knew he was going to be. Checking his texts while he had his phone out, there was one from Dean and another from Lucifer.

**From: Dean**  
**Time: 6:02am THUR 1-31-13**  
_No, I told him he had a fork in his shoulder though. The man wouldn't believe me, so he just walked away with the fork in his shoulder._

Castiel nearly doubled over in laughter as he lend against the church's bricks for support and typed a quick message back. 'lol He should have taken the spoon huh? ~Castiel'

**From: Luci -_-**  
**Time: 6:31am THUR 1-31-13**  
_Hey Cassie good news. I know U have 2nite off & w/ UR legs all fucked up I got U a new line up 4 Friday night. Say hello 2 Castielle! *kisses*_

"Who the hell is Castielle?" Castiel mumbled to himself.

~0~

"Hello, I'm Mr. Winchester. I'm your friend's lawyer you must be Castiel Novak." Castiel shook hands with Samuel and sat in the chair next to Gabriel. "You're the younger brother of Father Novak right? He's an amazing man and speaks of you very highly. But that's not why we're here is it?" Samuel sighed and pulled out a few papers. "To be honest from what the plaintiff has as evidence, it isn't looking good for you Mr. Speight. The only evidence that they have is the parking garage's security camera and the obvious 9 inch cut across his stomach that matches the consistence of what your knife would cut skin like. And maybe if the camera had been a better quality we could have swung the evidence in our favor."

Samuel placed the pictures of the security camera in front of the two men. There were only four pictures in total. The first were the backs of Castiel and Gabriel in the top left corner as they walked away. The second was the pair in the FAR top left corner with Alastair walking up behind. The third was of Gabriel lashing out his knife towards Alastair. And the last one was Alastair doubled over walking away.

"This is it?" Castiel's mouth never closed as he spoke in pure shock.

"I'm afraid so. The parking garage didn't have a video camera; it only took a picture every 15 seconds. Now the only thing we have now to help Gabriel is your word as a witness. You'd have to take the stand and tell the judge what happened." Samuel's words hurt because he knew what the lawyer really meant. He was going to have to talk about the Halloween party in front of at least 15 complete strangers in the courtroom.

Castiel nodded with a slow jerk in his neck trying to force himself to help his best friend. Gabe rubbed Castiel's back softly with a cuffed wrist, "Thank you for doing this, Cassie." He did the jerky nod again. He didn't know how he was going to do it; he had never said what had happened out loud to anyone. Not even Gabriel knew how deeply it affected him.


	8. I Feel Like A Woman

**A/N: Just so you know it felt wrong having a chapter with 400 words in it so I squished 8&9 together for a slightly longer chapter. It still works the way I wanted it to in the long run and I fell better about the word count. Enjoy the pain.  
**

The clock ticked loudly against the wall in Dean's office as he tapped his pen down on the draft board in front of him. He never went to bed that night, instead he had texted Cas all night with a smile on his face. Now he had his hand touching his cell phone at all times just to make sure he didn't miss a text from him. He was acting like a god damned 14 year old school girl giddy over her first crush. It was pathetic.

"Hey," Anna snapped Dean out of his pitiful daze, "You have a call from Zachariah. It's about the new listing over on East Jefferson."

Dean groaned and tossed his pen down on the draft table and picking up the phone on his other work desk. "Yeah, Zach." He absolutely hated that man; nothing was ever easy with him. There was always another signature that he needed on his paperwork or, he missed a tax that needed to be with the property or, his personal favorite, 'we can't do construction here because they found a dead body 24 years ago'. Zachariah was a pain in everyone's ass.

"Hello Dean. I'm looking at the layouts of those apartments your company built last year and there seems to be an issue with city ordinance compliance. One these plans it looks like you only allowed 2 feet for clearance from a lot line, when in fact the ordinance requires 4 ½ feet."

"Hold on." Dean put the phone down on his desk and went to go look through his copies of the blue prints. Laying the file out on his desk he skimmed over the blue print and saw what Zach was talking about. "Hey Zach, I see what you're looking at but on my copy of the blue prints I have a listing from the city it claims that East Jefferson allowed the buildings to be built only 2 feet from the lot line. That's why we placed them that close."

"Oh! Okay, I'll call you if there's anything else I see out of order." Zach hung up the phone.

"Oh I'm sure you will." Dean placed his office phone back on the hook. His cell phone began to ring in his pocket. Dean whipped out his phone quickly and answered it not bothering to look at the number. "Dean here."

"Hey Dean," It was Sam.

"Hey Sammy!" He boasted back over the speaker.

Sam sighed over the phone, "Hey, I was wondering if you had any plans for Fridays night."

Dean thought for a moment, "Nah, I'm free. Whatcha got in mind?" Dean carefully placed the large blue print back into the large file cabinet and sat back down at the drafting table.

"I was talking with a client earlier and he told me about where he worked; the strip joint called Purgatory. It's supposed to be the best one on west coast. I thought it sounded like a good time. Since Jess is going out of town to visit her parents with Adam and since you and Jo… it'd be just you and I, like old times."

"Uh," Dean had no idea what to say to that. "Yeah, okay Sam. Yeah it sounds like fun. Friday?"

"Yup, I'll pick you up at your place."

"Remember I moved, I'll text you the address so you can plug it into that fancy phone GPS of yours, Bitch."

"Okay Jerk. See you then."

~0~

"God damn it, Lucifer!" Castiel screamed at the top of his lungs throwing boot stilettoes at Lucifer's head. "What the hell it this shit!?"

"Sweetheart those are your lord and saviors for this weekend." Lucifer said placing the boot on the makeup table next to him.

"I'm NOT dressing like a woman!"

"Oh yes you are." Bella spoke shoving Castiel back down into the chair in front of the mirror. "You're pudgy enough to pull it off now." She smiled pinching his stomach. Bella was Lucifer's roommate, she was still in college and every once in a while she'd come to Purgatory to do a couple day shifts but she wasn't a regular like Castiel, so they knew very little of each other.

Castiel hadn't dressed like a woman since he was in college. But when he went to the university one day fully dressed like a female, breasts and all, he had so many men, and women, hit on him it was outrageous. "If you haven't noticed, I don't have breasts." He motioned towards his chest. "And I have a huge dick. How on Earth am I supposed to strip completely down without them noticing my cock?"

"My, my, you weren't kidding Lucifer. This one has quite a potty mouth." Bella rubbed her thumbs firmly into the base of Castiel's neck massaging the tension out of him. "Don't you worry, Love. I've got you covered there." She patted the bag on the makeup table, "I'm the best at prosthetics in my class. I'll give you a rack that would even fool God into thinking you were a woman." She winked at him in the mirror.

"And as far as your gorgeous cock is concerned, well," Lucifer coughed. "Either you keep that skirt on or we could introduce you as a transsexual." He smiled widely at him.

Castiel glared at Lucifer, he didn't mind the thought of having breasts, or wearing heels so high most would break their ankles, or even being introduced as a transsexual on the stage. Castiel didn't even mind that he was going to have to wear a wig and be painted up like a whore. But the one thing he couldn't stand was that we was going to have to be introduced as someone else, some person that never existed was going to get HIS credit for HIS strip tease, and he was going to get the back lash from HIS regulars wondering where he went. "Fuck it." Castiel grumbled.

"YAY!" Bella squealed and began taking out her tools and began to work.

~0~

"This place is really nice." Dean mumbled as he gawked at the interior of Purgatory. It was stunning, if it wasn't for the females whipping and grinding on poles amongst clumps of large chairs, Dean would have never guessed this was actually a strip joint. As they walked through the main room Dean's eye caught two large sets of black marble stairs with red carpeting. He strained his neck to see where they lead off to but instead they vanished into the darkness at the top. He suspected the worst that they probably lead away for a more private 'dance', which the management ignored.

"Dean, stop it." Sam lightly smacked Dean's arm. "You're supposed to get a hard on for the dancers. NOT the building." He chuckled and walked away into another room where most of the people were gathering.

Dean looked to his watch, 10:24pm, and sighed pulling out his phone. And began to text Cas. 'Hey what are you up to?' And quickly followed behind Sam into the other room.

~0~

_Blip! Blip!_

Castiel reached over to his phone as Bella finished up the blush on his cheeks. It was Dean.

_From: Dean_  
_Time: 10:25pm SAT 2-1-13_  
Hey what are you up to?

He smiled down at his phone then looked up in the mirror contemplating his reply. He was downright bangable, and if he wasn't gay he'd fuck himself. Chuckling softly at his own joke he typed a quick reply '_I'm about to start my other job. What about you? ~Castiel_' and put his phone down and stared at his reflection. He did look like one hell of a beautiful woman that was for sure, but he already knew that.

Castiel's eyes raked over his naked body as he sat with crossed legs in front of the mirror. His plump lips, soft and smooth, protected by the most blood red lipstick in Bella's arsenal. And his jaw and clavicles looked delicate and angelic under the creamy white powder and the rest of his body looked good enough for a Play Boy magazine centerfold. The breasts that Bella had given him earlier in the day made his waist look smaller than it already was and gave his hips that extra inch to make them look more feminine.

He had gone over every inch of his new fake body with a fine tooth comb making sure nothing looked odd or fake. And in the end Bella was right, she was the best. The wavy black wig Bella had given him appeared to be growing from his own scalp. The breasts looked and moved the way large breasts should, they even had a few veins to give them a powdery white complexion, and she had even made a point to give him that mole above his right nipple that pissed him off so much. He looked beautiful.

"Damn, Sugar!" Castiel's attention was pulled from his face over to the voice. It was Charlie, a new full time dancer at Purgatory. Dressed in her full white costume for their next routine. She had only worked in the part time section of the house for a few months before Ash and Tessa recognized her talent. As far as the women dancers at Purgatory she was on the fast track for being the most popular. Castiel had never thought twice about her being a threat to his job, he was far too good at what he did. What he had was natural, she was learning. "You are fucking gorgeous!" She stood beside him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "That is Castiel under all that make up right?" She smiled and patted his shoulder.

"Yeah, it's me." His gruff voice sounding strange coming from such a delicate body.

_Blip! Blip!_

_From: Dean_  
_Time: 10:25pm SAT 2-1-13_  
Sounds like fun. Don't be upset at me but my brother has talked me into going to a strip bar. Lol

Castiel chuckled at his phone. A strip bar, please, if he was anywhere else but Purgatory he'd just be wasting his money. '_Which one? Roxy? Singer's? ~Castiel_'

"You know, I thought I had a chance at being the more beautiful woman on the stage tonight, but I think even as a female, Castiel, you seem to out shine me." Charlie smiled to Castiel through the reflection in the vanity as she put on her lip stick.

Castiel didn't reply he only gave her a faint smile as looked down to the pinkie nail polish Lucifer did earlier in the day.

"Castiel, Charlie, you're on deck." Ash's voice cracked over the cheap Walkie Talkies.

"You'd think they'd install a proper intercom for the amount of money we bring in." Castiel joked as he got out of the chair. Charlie followed behind him and helped him into his outfit for their routine. They had given them a routine back when Charlie first moved up to a full time employee, back when she was a bit skittish around Castiel. But now she was completely comfortable around him, just like the others.

Castiel saddened at the thought of Gabriel missing him being dressed as a woman, he would have loved it. But Castiel was quickly yanked out of the thought by Charlie fastening the corset around his upper body securely. There was a quick zipper on the side, for ease of stripping, but since it was used pretty regularly by the women it had become a little warn and constantly would pinch them. Charlie helped Castiel into the black latex bra that was studded with tiny spikes wrapping around the cleavage. From there Castiel knew how to put everything on with ease; thong, mid-thigh latex skirt, black fish nets, garter, spiked stilettos, and a short black jacket that only went down right below the breasts.

Lucifer ran from off stage and nearly jumped on Castiel but dodged him with ease. "Hey Cassie! Good news and bad news." Castiel grumbled. "Good news!" Lucifer pulled out a little pair of horns and halo from the props box. "Your dance is now themed, according to Tessa. Bad news." Lucifer sighed. "Ash told me, if you took off your skirt tonight and represented yourself as a transsexual he'd dock your pay."

"You've got to be fucking kidding me!" Castiel roared. Thank God for the loud music that played on stage. "That asshole!" He cursed and kicked a chair half way across the room.

"He said it was bad for business."

Castiel shot daggers at Lucifer, "It's bad for business?" He said mockingly. "My dick is what's given this shit hole its fame." Lucifer opened his mouth but before he could utter a syllable Castiel snapped at him. "How DARE he tell me what I can or cannot do on that stage. That red neck piece of white trash wouldn't have SHIT if it wasn't for this dick!"

Castiel had never snapped, at least not at work before. But somewhere between the stress of Gabriel's upcoming trial and the enormous amount of makeup, his filter was just gone. Everything broke. And damn it he was not going to cry in this make up, not now.

Castiel stomped his foot and huffed like a child would when it was denied candy.

"Come on." Lucifer smacked his shoulder. "Everything's going to be okay."

"Fuck off." Castiel snapped rolling Lucifer's hand off his shoulder. "Come on Charlie let's get this fucking night over."

As Castiel headed for the side of the stage his phone buzzed on the counter out of his ear shot, but Lucifer heard it. Taking a quick look to see Castiel still walking away Lucifer grabbed his phone and read the text.

_From: Dean_  
_Time: 10:31pm SAT 2-1-13_  
No, actually. I'm at a place called Purgatory. It's quite nice here.

A wicked smile spread across Lucifer's face as he placed the phone back down where he got it and went to go change.

~0~

As the last show ended with a man named Lucifer working his pelvis against a young female with blonde hair like a snake, Dean had to admit to himself that even though the act was mostly male he had a slight hard on.

And without a doubt in his mind Purgatory was the best strip club Dean had ever been to, everything else just seemed second rate in his mind. None of the dancers looked like they had an STD. Even though if you'd been lucky enough to get one in your bed, Dean knew even if they didn't have an STD, in the morning you'd be in pain in a completely different way.

"We're sorry to let you all know that our regular Little Devil is unable to make it tonight. But fear not we have his very own flesh and blood here tonight. Ladies . . . and gentlemen. I am proud to introduce Purgatory's very own Little Red and the new comer for tonight . . ." Dean's breath hitched in his throat from anticipation. "The Little Devil's sister, Abaddon!e Little Devil'ce. "and...I am proud to introduce Purgatory'lood here tonight. "

_Step inside, walk this way, you and me babe. Hey! Hey!_

The thunderous cords of 'Pour Some Sugar on Me' vibrated through the room as a young red headed woman strode through the curtains in her high white stilettos. He guessed this was Little Red. Her body was fantastic, perfect hour glass figure with large hips and full breasts that made her curled ginger hair bounce in the air with each step. Her stride had determination behind it as she locked eyes with the first man on her left.

As Little Red's focus on the man held, another woman graced the stage. And this one was special. Dean had never seen a woman like this one before, her skin practically glowed, and she was beautiful in every way.

Her cheek bones were gentle; a blush gingerly touched her skin, almost in a coy manner. The blush acted as if it was unsure whether or not it was okay to be there. As if it would taint her beauty. The mischievous smile turned the corners of her cheeks up in small crescents that would have put the moon to shame in her presence. And that's when Dean noticed her most striking feature; the oceans of pure blue that the world would call her eyes. But to him they were more than that, even though she never once looked at him directly, every emotion Dean had, every desire, and every thought suddenly vanished when he looked into those beautiful eyes.

"Dean," Sam smacked his shoulder. "Come on, it's time to leave." Dean gasped for a breath as he finally blinked.

"What?" He looked to his brother and around at empty seats all around them.

"It's time to go. Come on its 1am, I need to get back to my house. I'll drop you off."

What happened to the time? Did two hours really disappear? "Oh, okay." Dean stood up from the chair legs stiff and practically dead.

"Are you okay?" Sam helped Dean stand up straight.

"I think so, I don't really remember."

"What do you mean?" They started to walk out of the club, Dean's pants uncomfortable around his hips.

"I mean I think I just lost two and half hours of my life, they vanished. I only remember . . . blue." Dean stopped and his eyes went almost dead trying to remember.

Sam looked Dean up and down, landing on his pants. He swallowed hard and looked away biting back a gut instinct to punch Dean in the shoulder and walk away. "It seems like you sure are excited though."

Dean's brow sewed together breaking from his thought to his brother. "What-" He shifted and finally looked down realizing why he felt the tightness of his pants around his groin. "Okay." He hung his head in shame. He hadn't remembered a single thing since that Abaddon woman walked out on the stage. He hadn't even seen what she had been wearing; only her eyes were burned into his memory. He couldn't have had held a boner that long, he never had with anyone before. Even on his BEST fuck, 45 minutes tops.

As Sam and Dean walked back to Sam's car in an awkward silence created by his unwelcomed boner, Dean thought about those eyes once more. The stunning and awe inducing sapphire blue eyes. And like a light taste on his tongue Dean began to feel he had seen them somewhere before. But where?

A scream pierced through the air and made Dean turn on his heel and dart towards the scream without a second thought.

~0~

"You will do what I tell you to do!" Ash stomped his foot and raising his voice higher.

"No, Fuck you!" Castiel screamed hurling a mirror at Ash. The mirror shattered against the wall and fell to the ground. Ash and Castiel had never seen eye to eye on anything, and concealing his genitals was an issue that popped up far too frequently for them not to have worked out by now.

And just like the past Castiel did what he wanted, whether Ash agreed to it or not. Castiel had exposed himself, or Abaddon, to have a penis. And just like he imagined, the crowd loved it. Smiles were lit all around the room when they found out. Not a single face of disgust in the crowd, except for Ash's of course.

"I'm done!" After Castiel's 4th and final 'Abaddon' act he stripped off the remainder of his clothes and began to put on some of Charlie's spares, not taking off the fake breasts or bothering to put a bra or underwear on. "I can't be here any longer." He picked up the rest of his essential personal items and pocked them. "Don't expect me back tomorrow!" He stomped towards the door, "And don't you dare fucking follow me." Castiel yelled and slammed the backdoor behind him as he walked out into the employee parking lot to his car.

"That fucking bastard, if I didn't need him to sign a check I'd wish he would drop over dead." Castiel mumbled under his breath. And got the keys out of his pocket and fiddled to find the right key for Gabriel's crap car.

Just as Castiel opened the car door his body slammed into the side of the car. His body was plastered between metal and another hot body. A large hand curled around his neck and over his mouth in a smooth motion. "It's so nice to see you again, Sweetie." That familiar slurred voice made Castiel's knees tremble with fear and his spine go ridge as a chill slid down. Alastair.

"I love your new look." He brushed the long black hair away from Castiel's neck and kissed it lightly. "Although I love something of yours far more." His other hand traced Castiel's hip down to the curve of his ass and grabbed it firmly in his hand. The action made Castiel squeak under Alastair's hand. "Oh! You like this don't you." The cold hand snaked inside of Castiel's loose fitting cargo pants to his prick. His body didn't know how to react, so like the rest of him, it began to harden as well.

"Murr!" Castiel cried out under Alastair's hand. His screams not getting very far.

"Oh, you like this. I know you do, that's why I needed to get your little short friend out of the picture so I could show you how much you enjoy being fucked like this."

Castiel tried his best to wiggle out from underneath Alastair's grip, but sadly his grip was tight on the smaller man and with Castiel not being very powerful any more he couldn't push him away. The only thing he could do was move against Alastair, and it seemed like Alastair was enjoying the weak motions a little too much by the hardness pressing into the small of Castiel's back.

This was it. He was going to be raped again, and again, and again. There was no escaping this man. Castiel's heart raced as he accepted his fate, his pulse pounding in his ears, and only making his hard on worse.

Alastair's hand moved from his throbbing cock to the button on Castiel's jeans and undid the already loose pants making them drop to the ground with little effort. "Look at you." Alastair pulled slightly away his pelvis still pressed roughly into Castiel's back, as he gazed at his powdery white skin. "No panties," Alastair's hand slipped out of sight and came back to Castiel's cheeks with a slippery substance coating them. "Just like a little whore."

Alastair's hand dipped between his cheeks and pressed roughly at Castiel's entrance. "I bet your hole would milk my cock just like a whore as well too. Wouldn't you Sweetie?" His fingers entered Castiel roughly and stabbed at his prostate. Something that should have felt amazing felt like someone ripping at his soul instead. Alastair's fingers worked quickly trying to open him up as quickly as possible. But like always, Alastair never waited long enough.

Alastair moved the hand covering Castiel's mouth and placed it on his shoulder for leverage. And with one quick motion Alastair's cock was deep inside Castiel's heat. The act made Castiel's head lurch back in agony as he screamed at the intrusion. "No!"

~0~

Dean raced in the general direction of the scream, but he had no idea where it came from though so he ran blindly through the streets. Pushing past a couple of teenagers he stopped on the street corner and paused catching his breath. His heart pounded in his chest, he hadn't run like this in years. He had an overwhelming sense that he had to be there, where that person screamed. He had to protect them, save them; he had never had that feeling before. And it frightened him to the core.

As soon as a small white car passed in the street Dean took off running again. He had to find them, he had to be there.

~0~

"Ugh." Alastair grunted as he crushed into Castiel's bleeding entrance, he could feel the blood dripping down his thighs and calves. Tears streamed down Castiel's face and over the duct tape Alastair had wrapped around his face to silence him. "You like this don't you, you little slut." Alastair had moved them to the car trunk and cuffed his wrists behind his back in short shackles leaving Castiel no room to move his arms. So now Castiel was bent over face planted into the trunk and shaking like a leaf.

Just a few more stabs into Castiel's body made Alastair spill his poisonous seed deep inside Castiel. He could feel the evil practically seeping into his bones as Alastair thrusted lazily into him, not really with intent to fuck him but to make sure that Castiel's body never rejected an ounce of his sperm.

Feeling Alastair pull out of his body made every nerve Castiel had stand on edge as his muscles went limp. Letting Castiel's spent body drop on to the asphalt, Alastair zipped himself back up leaving Castiel broken and helpless. He chuckled at his work and popped up the hood on his jacket as he headed out of the alley filled with cars.

Castiel watched as Alastair moved out of the small parking area and into the narrow alley leading to the main street. Immediately crashing into a man, "Watch it asshole!" The other man yelled as Alastair kept his head down so the man wouldn't see his face.

Castiel watched with burning eyes as the man paced back and forth in distress, almost like he had lost something valuable. 'Help me.' Castiel wanted to say to the man, he wanted him to take him away from this hell hole he had buried himself into. He just wanted out. Castiel fought to call out to the man as he tried keeping his mind from passing out. He must have started to lose a lot of blood, because Castiel was never one to faint.

The man standing in the alley's entrance walked out of Castiel's sight. This was it. He had given it all he had, he couldn't stay awake any longer, he couldn't yell for help, he could stand and walk away, and he couldn't even move his own body. He was truly broken, and he was ready. Ready for all of it to end, to finally escape from this shit hole he called his life. In the last moment of consciousness he hoped Michael was right; that it was a better place in the afterlife.

**A/N: I have offically changed this story to a Hurt/Comfort with a side of Angst fanfic. It isn't turning out the way I originally planned. It is so much darker than I intended.**


	9. Wake Up!

**A/N: This was previously chapter 10, but since I squished 8&9 together this one has been bumped down to 9. Nothing in this chapter has changed so don't worry about rereading if you remember.**

As Dean ran down the street in a full panicked sprint, he collided into a man exiting a narrow alley way. "Watch it asshole!" Dean shouted at the man in the hoodie and stopped for a moment looking around. He wasn't going to find them. It was hopeless, he had failed them. Placing his arms above his head and running his fingers through his short hair Dean kicked the ground beneath his boot and cursed under his breath.

As Dean turned to walk back to Sam he heard a muffled whimper. It was faint but it was close. Dean whipped his head around looking around cars in the street trying to see if anyone was in the road. No one was there. He cursed softly and returned to the place he had heard the noise. They had to be somewhere near.

Dean looked behind him to the narrow path between the buildings no more than a couple feet wide, barely big enough for a fat man. Dean looked once more around him before he shimmied through the opening and into a much larger area filled with cars.

Right in front of Dean's eyes he could believe was he was seeing, it was the young woman from Purgatory, Abaddon. And some thing was seriously wrong, she wasn't moving. Dean's pace quickened as he approached her motionless body and fell to his knees trying to get her to move. He shook her body gently trying to wake her. Taking the duct tape off with one clean swipe, her lips became as red as the lipstick that had coated them.

That's when Dean finally noticed her body, after a few moments of holding her in his arms trying to wake her, he finally looked down. Her arms were cuffed behind her back and a massive amount of blood was pooling beneath her. He looked to her front and noticed something he should have seen earlier. She was not a 'she' at all rather a very pretty 'he'.

And in the moment something primal kicked in; rage, sorrow, and guilt. His hand found his way to his phone and dialed 9-1-1 immediately. He tried to explain and where he was, but he had no idea. Sam and brought him here, and he had even ran to this place so even if he knew where in fact he was it would do him absolutely no good.

Dean looked helplessly around trying to see if he could get any indication as to where he was. And about 20 feet away he spotted a side door into a building. It said in big bold letters 'FOR PURGATORY EMPLOYEES ONLY'. He was near Purgatory? He told the woman on the phone that's where he thought he was she told him to stay on the line until help arrived.

The woman told Dean to check of a pulse, so Dean put the phone down on the ground with it on speaker phone so he could hold Abaddon closer to him. He had no idea if Abaddon was going to be okay or not but he had to remain calm for him. He placed two fingers down on his neck and held gently. There was something there. "Y-yes, it's faint and slow, but there."

Thank God. Dean pulled him in closer hugging his body to his own chest. He was alive, and if they were lucky enough, Abaddon would stay that way long enough for paramedics to help. Fisting his hair in his hand it felt loose when he gave it a slight tug. Dean looked down at Abaddon with a worrisome emotion carved into his face. He pulled the hair farther, and without so much as a fight the long black hair pulled off his scalp. Exposing a bald cap which Dean removed promptly afterwards. And gasped at what he held in his arms.

This wasn't a female, this wasn't Abaddon, and this wasn't even any regular old man. He held in his arms a limp body of Castiel Novak. He would have recognized that mop of unruly black hair anywhere. But he had never dreamed that he would have to see him this way. And he prayed to God that Cas would live so this wouldn't be the last time Dean had to see him like this.

*~0~0~*

The soft faint bleeps of the cardiac monitor echoed in the small room that Cas had been admitted into once he had been deemed stable enough to come out of the ICU. Dean sat sideways in the wide chair with his knees against his chest, laying his head on the back of the chair. It was already half past 7 and the sun light had just barely started coming out over the Elliot Bay, located a few blocks from the Seattle Mercy Hospital. Dean stared at Cas, watching the slow rise and fall of his chest as a tube in his throat helped give him oxygen.

The doctors were surprised; Dean could tell by the way they stared at him when Cas came in that night dressed like a woman. They had removed everything from Cas, the breasts, his dirty clothing, the makeup, and most importantly the blood. Dean squeezed his legs tighter remembering going over the questions that police had for him in his mind. He helped the police as much as he could but he honestly didn't know Cas as well as he thought he did. There was no way that his man was a priest. So if everything else was built off of a lie what else was this man willing to lie about?

Earlier that night around 3AM, just an hour after Cas went into the ICU, Dean met the only living relative that Cas had, Father Michael. This in itself was just another lie. Michael was a priest, and his name was Michael but what he had never mentioned to Dean before was his formal name was Father Novak. He was the man Sam wanted him to meet, not Cas.

Michael had spent a couple hours talking with Dean about his little brother. Michael tried so hard for Dean to see the light and the hope he had for his sibling. He kept saying repeatedly, "He's a good boy. He is just a bit lost." And as Michael continued to talk highly about his little brother, Dean could see why Sam wanted Dean to meet this man. He always found the best in people to highlight; even if that meant overlooking the worst they had to offer.

"Dean?" Sam called from the door of the small hospital room, jerking Dean out of his thoughts.

"Wha?" He stared dumbly at his brother, still trying to reeling back into the present.

"You know that client that told me about where he worked, Purgatory?" Dean nodded, "Well, this is his best friend and housemate. I just had to deliver news to him about his condition since he was actually the first on his emergency contacts." Sam pulled up a small chair next to the foot of Cas' bed. "He allowed me to tell you about the case, seeing as now that includes you."

Dean's head snapped to Sam, "Why me?"

"My client I'm dealing with his name is Gabriel Speight, short funny man." He chuckled softly. "He is going to trial soon under the charges of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. And we thought he had a chance of winning this case with Castiel's story. But now with Castiel like this," Sam motioned towards the limp man in the bed. "Castiel cannot go on the stand. I'm going to have to ask you some questions, Dean. And I NEED you to think hard about this." Dean nodded in compliance. "Do you remember anyone around Castiel earlier tonight?"

"No," Dean shook his head. "He was on the ground passed out when I found him."

"Are you positive? No one could have seen what happened to him?"

"Yes, I'm positi- wait." Dean scratched at his memory. "The only person around was a man that came out of the alley where he was."

"Do you remember what he looked like?"

"Not really. He had a large hoodie on that covered most of his face."

"Most of his face? So you saw some of it?"

"Yeah I guess."

"What did you see?"

"Um, he was white, kind of old, maybe late 40's, had a narrow jaw and a peppery goatee. I never saw anything above his nose though." Sam sat back in his chair and stared at the ground next to him, almost in a cheerful manner. "What?" Dean gawked wanting to punch the smile off his little brother's face.

"Dean. If you don't believe in miracles you will now if that man turns out to be who I think it is." Sam picked up his brief case off the ground and rummaged through it pulling out a piece of paper with a photo on it and covered up the top half of the face showing Dean. "Is this that man you saw?"

Dean squinted at the picture and took a couple moments to make sure of his answer. "Yes." Sam removed his hand that covered the top half of the man's face. "Who is he?"

"This my dear older brother, is the plaintiff for my client's case. Gabriel confessed to attacking this man that night, but he claimed he was defending Castiel from him. You see Castiel has had a string of pretty bad exes according to Gabriel, and this son of a bitch was the grand asshole of the lot. Castiel had been raped last October by this man, they broke it off immediately and he never saw this man until last week. My client was protecting Castiel, from this man, so he wouldn't get raped again. BUT lo and behold," Sam motioned again to Cas. "He couldn't let Castiel out of his sights. And now with your testimony we can get the case pushed back a few months and get a court ordered a DNA test the sperm found in and on Castiel with this man, to see if actually was him. And put this rapist away for good, subsequently, getting my client out of jail. AND freeing Castiel from ever having to see this man again."

Dean's world shifted suddenly hearing all of Cas' baggage at once from his brother. He had wanted Cas to tell him one day when he was ready, not have his life story dished out on a plate in front of him like that. But such is life. "So if I testify, we can lock that man away? For good?" Dean's gaze never left the smaller man in the bed. Sam nodded silently. "Then I'll do it. For him."

*~0~0~*

Dean's day crept by slowly as he just stayed planted in that chair next to Cas' bed. He had to be there when he woke up. He just had to be, and reasoning and logic aside, it was his duty. Nothing was as important as being next to Cas at this very moment; not his job, his brother, or even his own well-being. He just watched, every once in a while Cas' breathing would change slightly. The first few times it happened he had hollered for a nurse or doctor, but now they were just false alarms that hurt when he noticed.

Nurses came and went for the next couple hours putting new bags of blood and new saline bags up on the small holder. B+ was Castiel's blood type; Dean chuckled at how the smallest things stuck when they're asking furious questions towards you. But when Dean didn't know, they did a simple test within 5 minutes they knew. Nurses and interns yelled it back a forth trying to get enough bags for him.

"Excuse me. Mr. Winchester?" A nurse in pink scrubs came into the small room. "I know you've been here a while next to him. I'm not sure when was the last time you ate anything so I just came in here to let you know some nurses just came back with bagels and coffee. We have them down in the nurse's station and you are more than welcome to come down."

Dean nodded gently at her offer, "Thank you, but I want to be here when he wakes up. I need to see that he'll be okay."

She paused with a small smile on her face, "I hate to break it to you if a doctor hadn't told you already but it could take a couple days for him to wake up. He's been very responsive to the fluids; he has an amazing chance thanks to you. But if you don't eat anything, you may not have the strength to be there when he needs it the most."

Her words hurt at the thought. Dean wasn't sure when these emotions for Cas had cropped up inside of him so passionately; maybe it was when he was searching for him in the dark, maybe it was the moment he saw passion in his eyes as he danced on the stage, hell maybe it was as far back as that moment they shared in the church. Regardless of when it all started, Dean knew he couldn't let it end. Not without a fight. "Okay." Dean moved slowly out of the chair his knees had locked up on him from the odd position he had been sitting in and hobbled slowly to the nurse in pink.

"Let's get you a warm bagel. Poppy seed or plain?"

*~0~0~*

"And then he just walked away with a fork sticking out of his back!" The whole group of nurses laughed along with Dean.

"He should have gone with the spoon then, huh?" Mary, the nurse in the pink scrubs, said. That's when Dean's mind ran over the memories of texting Cas that joke. It had been a 3 minutes, 3 whole minutes where the guilt of not getting to him sooner to stop that man didn't weigh on his shoulders. In which Dean hadn't thought of Cas lying unconscious in the small room right down the hall.

Dean smiled forcefully and took a sip of the cooling coffee as he leaned against the nurse's station and listened to another nurse tell a story about her youngest son. How he thought if he could pull is head off then he'd be able to get a new one. Dean smiled and laughed along with the group. But the unreasonable guilt tore at him from the inside.

As a couple lights flashed on the nurse's desk the group broke apart and dispersed down the halls to rooms that needed their attention. Dean looked around the small waiting area with his cold coffee at a children's program playing and sighed at the lack of distractions. He dumped the coffee in the small water fountain and poured him another hot cup back and went back to the room.

Coming up to his room he looked directly to Cas lying in the bed, but he wasn't in the same position. He was sitting up hunched over looking at the palms of his hands. "CAS!" Dean dropped the cup of coffee absent-mindedly all over the hallway and ran over to the man as quickly as would feet could carry him. "You're awake!" Dean's arms wrapped around the smaller man, head placed behind Cas' as he hugged him tighter.

"That hurts." Cas mumbled softly, hitched his breath and bit back a soft hiss.

"I thought I lost you when they took you into the ICU."

"I'm not dead?" His voice was hoarse.

"No, no." Dean reached to the bedside and clicked the nurse's button and picked up a glass of water. "You're a fighter."

"So I'm in a hospital?" Cas took sips very gingerly.

"Yeah, Seattle Mercy Hospital. You've been here about 8 hours." Dean wanted to cry. His body ached in doubt thinking that maybe this was all just a dream, so he kept pinching the top of his hands to make sure. "Your brother came by when you just came out of the ICU and were placed in here. He left about 2 hours back saying something about Father Murphy and alcohol. I didn't really catch it." Castiel's gaze never left his hands. "I was preoccupied."

"How did you know I was in here? Did you see them take me in?" Cas mumbled as he flexed his hands and rubbed his knuckled roughly.

"No. I was with you from the very beginning of the night. I was at Purgatory and I watched you dance. Granted, I didn't realize it was you until I found you later but, I heard you scream, and found you." Dean spoke with a warm smile on his face and placed his hands on Cas' left thigh softly.

Cas' gaze ripped from his hands to stare at Dean with surprise. Cas opened his mouth to speak but a nurse came in through the door. It was Mary, "Oh! Look at you, wide eyed and bushy tailed." Mary walked over to the bedside and smiled down at him. "How are you feeling dear?"

Cas' gaze never once left Dean's face as he spoke, "I'm in pain," Cas spoke softly, his throat still scratchy. "But I think I'm in good hands."

**A/N: I think this is as close as fluff as I can write. To me this is sickeningly sweet.**


	10. XXX Food Porn

**A/N: Just as a reminder this is a NEW chapter. I squished the previously named chapters 9&8 ('I Feel Like a Woman' and 'The Slipping') together to just make a slightly longer chapter 8 ('I Feel Like a Woman'). The current chapter 9 ('Wake Up!') hasn't changed so there's not need to go back and reread if you remember what happened.**

**I have to apologize for how long these last few chapters are taking, my body really did not want to write this is chapter. So I apologize if there's anything confusing or major grammatical issues. **

**I finally see the end of story coming up in a few more chapters, probably 3-4. You will have a smuty scene for this story (that doesn't involve rape) I promise, just not in this chapter.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

"Castiel?" Sam knocked at the door before he entered the small hospital room. Dean had texted him a few hours back saying that he was awake and seemed to be on the recovering side of his stay.

"You can come in." Castiel spoke not turning his gaze away from the blonde man fast asleep in the chair next to his bed as he ate his lunch. Tomato soup and a couple crackers.

"I see you're doing well."

"I've been better, Mr. Winchester." Castiel finally tore his gaze from Dean and turned to Sam wincing at the pain in his butt as he moved. "I've been much, much better."

Sam walked over to the chair on the opposite side to Dean and sat down pulling out a few forms. "I've been told by the doctor that you'll be under their watch for a couple days to make sure nothing goes wrong with your body from all the new blood. Which in turn means that you'll miss the meeting with the DA to determine if Gabriel will or will not go to trial."

Sam closed the brief case and began writing on a piece of paper. "What will happen to Gabe now?"

Sam looked up to Castiel and smiled, "Gabe will walk free now. Well not immediately, but within a few weeks Gabriel will be a free man cleared of all charges."

"How?" Castiel gaped.

"With the help of the police department, I got a hold of the police report Dean and you filed." Sam went back to the file and finished writing. "We have Alastair pinned." He handed Castiel the papers he was writing on. They were DNA request forms.

"DNA test? What do DNA tests have to do with me or Gabe's trial for that matter? It was assult."

"You said on the police report that you were raped by Alastair last night, correct?" Cas nodded. "Well, assuming Alastair's semen is still inside of you we can use that. Semen is a very good source of DNA, basically that's all it is. So with a court order from the DA we can get Alastair to submit to the DNA tests and prove to the DA that without Gabe lashing out at Alastair this would have happened to you that night instead of last night."

Castiel didn't say a word as he stared at Sam a little drawn back at how passionate he was to get Alastair by the jewels. "O-okay." He nodded softly, "What do I need to do?"

*~0~0~*

Sam and Dean walked into a medium sized room with tan walls, a red carpet, and a large desk on the far wall with 5 chairs in front of it. A short blonde woman stood from the other side of desk and extended and arm towards the chairs. "Ah Mr. Winchester, it's nice to see you again. How's your little boy doing?"

Her name was Amy Pond, she was the District Attorney of the greater Seattle area. Amy graduated top of her class from Stanford, just above Sam, and moved up quickly through the law firm that hired her straight out of college. She ran for DA last year, Amy won by a land slide and took office in November. Above all that Sam had some personal history with her. They had dated a few years back, about 2 years before he had met Jessica. Amy had been a good friend then and now she was an even better friend.

"Yes, he's well. Had a bit of a scare last week but he's fine now. And Amy please just call me Sam, this feels forced."

"That's good to hear." They all sat down in the chairs; Dean on Sam's right and Amy behind her desk. "Now what can I do for you Mr. Wi-, Sam." She said firmly crossing her fingers together with a smile on her face.

Sam opened up the black brief case he had carried with him and pulled out a few papers handing them to Amy. "We would like to request a court order for Alastair to be involved in a DNA test." Sam spoke as she skimmed the pages quickly.

Turning through the paperwork she stopped and carefully read through paper in her hand. "So this is Castiel Novak's police report? He says that Alastair raped him?" She arched her brow and placed the papers back on her desk. "How . . . convenient."

Dean flinched and shot her a nasty glare down his nose.

If Amy hadn't been in such a lucrative position for Cas' case, he would have torn her a new one. So instead his bit the inside of his mouth hard and tasted copper.

"Yes, and that is why I brought Dean along with me today. He says he saw the man that came from where he found Castiel that night. And I confirmed it with him that's who he saw."

Amy leaned back in her chair and tapped her nails on the desk. "So essentially you're asking for the date of the trail to be pushed back and a court ordered DNA test correct?" Sam nodded; Amy's gaze shifted between the two and took a deep sigh. "Okay, I'll get Judge Vern to sign off on the DNA test and I'll postpone the trial for a while to see if these results will clear Gabriel's case."

"Thank you."

*~0~0~*

"FUCK!" Castiel barked as the doctor tried to scrape what little bit of Alastair might be left inside of him. Castiel bit down on his pillow and balled the sheets in his hands trying to fight the unbelievable pain the racked down his spine.

"Okay, that should be more than enough for the lab technicians to do tests on."

Cas panted as the doctor removed the small instrument from his butt and left the room. "Oh it better fucking be." Cas pulled the white cotton pants up over his ass and curled up under the large blanket his brother brought from his home yesterday and tried to go to sleep.

A soft knock came from the door; Castiel was sick and tired of hearing that noise. "What!" He barked finally fed up with people poking him with needles and giving him pills. He was feeling tremendously better than yesterday when he first woke up, but he could tell he was still weak. Hell, he even went pee all by himself.

"Hey Cas." Dean popped his head in the door. "I brought you some good food."

Cas peaks his head out from under the blanket and stares down Dean with a large brown paper bag in one hand and cup holder of drinks in the other. "The nurse is going to bring by my lunch in a few minutes."

Dean put the food down on the very small table by the window and dropped his shoulders in disappoint at Cas' reply. "Trust me, that food will taste like a turd compared to what I've got. Come on." Dean patted one of the chairs next to the table.

Castiel rolled his eyes and got out of his bed taking the large brown blanket as well as a pillow with him over to the chair. He placed the pillow in the chair and sat down gingerly. Dean helped him place the blanket over his shoulders so he wouldn't be sitting on it as well. Dean took out the burgers and placed them on the table. "Just so you know I won't like the burgers. I'm very picky about what kind I eat." Dean smiled at Cas and slid the burger closer to the darker haired man.

"I'm pretty positive you'll like these. I made them myself. But the drinks I got from the McDonald's down the block. You really can't beat a dollar for a large drink." Dean said smiling as he sat down in the chair across the table from Cas and took a long drink of one of the sodas he brought.

Cas looked at the brown wrapping around the one Dean had pushed in front of him and opened it. The aroma that wafted off of the hot bun smacked Castiel in the face and made his mouth water. Only one other kind of burger as ever done that to him; a Kripke burger. "You didn't."

A Cheshire grin crawled over Dean's face. "I didn't what?"

"You didn't make this."

"Of course I did." He chuckled softly and unwrapped his food. "Believe it or not Chuck isn't the only one who can make a mean burger in Seattle. Now eat."

Castiel leered at Dean through narrow eyes trying to decide if he should believe him or chalk it down as a lie. This man was too good to be true. He had forgiven him for lying to him for a week, came to his rescue when he yelled, and now he cooked burgers that gave him a slight hard on? Dean fucking Winchester had to be a Satan in a Sunday hat.

Cas removed the wrapping, and there sat one of the sexiest burgers he had ever seen. The buns were plump and shimmered in the mid-day light that crept into through the windows with a buttery coating. The meat of the burger was thick and had a caramel brown glow with seared edges. Little strips of bacon curled around the buns and did a small tango with the lettuce as the tomato and pickles that laid in ecstasy on top in their own juices.

This burger should have had to require and ID to even look at it; it was pure food porn. And he had to touch it. With two fingers Cas touched the slick bun and stroked it softly watching it writhe back and forth on top of the tomato and pickles in a kinky orgy of desire and indulgence.

Castiel brought the burger up from the table to his lips and took a sinful bite. Throwing his head back in pure delight as the flavor seeped through his mouth coating every inch with heaven. He moaned softly and took another even before he had swallowed the previous bite. These were BETTER than Kripke's burgers, almost 10 fold better. Castiel didn't know how he would manage to eat another burger that wasn't Dean's without throwing it up. Dean had ruined him forever.

"Uh, Cas?" Castiel took a staggered breath and looked away from the food porn to eye porn instead. Pure grass green eyes that soaked in every ounce of light that bounced into the room.

"Huh?" He mouth still full of food.

"Cas you know I'm attracted to you, right?" Dean said placing his own burger back down on the brown paper. Now an act which Cas would label as a sin against humanity.

"I kind of assumed it when you called me sweetheart before you left yesterday." Cas chuckled gulping down the food in his mouth and bit his lip looking back down at the burger.

"Then you have to realize that this," Dean motioned to all of Cas, "is making me all hot and bothered."

"Oh!" Cas committed his sin and place the burger down and folded his hands in his lap, pulling the blanket over his head trying to hide his embarrassment. "Sorry."

"No, no. It's alright. It was just reminding me of some naughty thoughts that I've wanted to do to you." He smirked and picked up his burger and began to eat again.

Castiel froze in place a little shocked at the words Dean spoke so easily.

"Maybe sometime I'll-"

Castiel broke Dean's sentence in half when he caught the hairs on Dean's nape in his fist and pulled down. Making Dean bare his neck unintentionally for Castiel's predatory grin.

That moment was the quickest Castiel had moved all day, he could feel the tight muscles in his back straining to keep still. His blanket was spread across the chair and floor like a naked woman waiting to be painted. Dean's food had been slapped out of his hand and now splayed across the table. One had pinned down on table and the other pinned above Dean's shoulder. Castiel's knee worked open Dean's long legs and brushed against his firm member gently.

His muscular frame loomed over Dean. He craned his head down to Dean's neck and took in the blonde man's musk, his nose lightly brushing the warm skin.

Dean gave a small gasp and bit down on his lower lip trying to literally bite back the intense primal feeling raised in his gut. His body tried to lash out at Castiel and take the dark haired man in his arms but his body fought in vain against the vice-like grip. All of Castiel's weight was on the man's wrists, Dean wasn't going anywhere.

"I have given every man I know the power to do as they please to me in my life. That stops today." Castiel's words ghosted over Dean's neck making him arch his back into the dark man's chest. "Before this goes any farther with you Dean Winchester, I want you to know that you will never have the power in this relationship. Can you handle that?" Castiel's lustful eyes grazed over Dean's plump lips hungrily.

"Oh God, yes." Dean's lips crashed into Castiel's taking the man that had given him happiness back in his life.

Castiel's veins pumped fire through his body as electricity jolted through the kiss and down to his toes. That one kiss left Castiel reeling back for air as he pushed Dean down with a strong hand on his chest.

Dean moaned at the loss, trying to capture Castiel's lips again with a weak protest.

Castiel's grinned evilly down to Dean, taking in the sight of the gorgeous man as he wantonly moaned softly under his touch. Cas had never had the control in his relationships, in all honestly it scared the crap out of him, but the list of things he wanted to do to his man was a mile long written in 10pt font. Castiel had more he wanted to do to Dean than he had time on this Earth.

"Now where do we begin?" A dark chuckle seeped from Cas' lips as he attacked Dean hungrily.


End file.
